Beauty

So I woke up this morning, wanting to sleep in. I thought to myself “I don't have anywhere to be, I don't have to go to work, why do I need to wake up” But nonetheless I did. I got up made breakfast, took a shower, than headed out the house. I live about 35 minutes from the center of town and usually walk there instead of taking taxi or bus. Why not walk, I am never in a rush. So as I walked today, I got to think a lot. A lot about life and beauty. I decided to shave my head bald while I was in India. It was one of the most freeing things I have ever done. In India, I got a lot of comments from day one. People would rub on my head and say how beautiful it was. In Argentina, I had my head licked so many times and even had a woman from Brazil tell me how courageous and beautiful I was. She said that no woman in Brazil would ever shave there head. She admired my courageousness. Now in Peru, I am called “Mamacita Linda” all the time. So why as women do we put so much money into our hair and makeup? I have even had people ask me what do I use on my skin and say that my skin is glowing. I tell them that I do not have a skin care regimen. I use whatever cheap soap I can buy at the time. Before traveling I had a separate soap that I used for my face, but now I use the same soap for everything. Now, I that I don't spend money on hair care or facial products, I get the most compliments. So do we really need to spend all this money for beauty? Or is it about being happy and stress-free? There were days in Argentina that I felt down, because the woman there are gorgeous and have the best clothes and shoes. All of my beautiful clothes and shoes were back home and I didn't have the money to go buy a new wardrobe nor would that make sense since I am backpacking and can't carry a lot of things. I wanted to go out and buy makeup and at least one pair of sexy boots. But I didn't and I am glad, because I was able to learn that beauty is within. It has nothing to do with how much money we spend on clothes, makeup, facial products, or hair products. As women it is vital to love yourself as you are and not buy into marketing companies trying to sell all these products just to make money. Love our natural beauty.

Bait and Switch

So after Lujan we headed to Buenos Aires. The first night I stayed at Frankie's house. Argentina was celebrating there bicentennial all week long, so I arrived at a perfect time. Frankie and I went downtown to meet Laura, Paress, and Martin at a chinese restaurant. The food was ok. I was eying the fried chicken on their plate, but unfortunately the buffet was all out of the chicken. So we all finished up dinner and the walked to 9 de Julio for the festivities. There was a band playing and everyone was free and just having a great time. The music was really nice and the energy was vibrant. We jumped up and down and danced. It was really great, felt like being at a carnival. When it came time to leave we had to catch the bus. In Argentina you have to hold out your hand to signal the bus to stop. Now the bus driver decides whether he wants to stop or not. Of course with it being so late and their being many people on line the bus drivers were deciding not to stop. So we had to decide whether to walk to her place or walk to another bus stop. We decided on walking to another bus stop that was closer to her house and would have less people, figuring the odds would be better to catch a bus. So after 2 hours of walking and trying to catch a bus we finally reached her home. It was a great way to learn the city and see how the buses operate. The next day we went to recoleta's market, which was a cute little market. It has lots of nice trinkets and arts and crafts for sale. After recoleta's market we met Sergio at dinner so he could pick me up. I met Sergio in India. He is a slightly older man who was going to the same Guru that I was going to in Thiruvannamalai. In meeting him, I told him I was going to travel through S. America and he said when I come to Argentina I can stay with him. I thought this to be a nice gesture. He never seemed interested in me and he seemed to be quite spiritual. So we finish eating than I head to his house. When we first get there he says, the extra room is messy would you like to sleep in my room, so I say, no, that is ok, I don't mind a messy room. I will just sleep in the extra room. He tells me to hold on while he tidy's up the room, so I wait. Let me step back for a minute. While in General Rodriquez I found out my ATM card expired, so I had no access to money. I only had 75 pesos until I could get my new card. So I go into the room and settle in to sleep. Things began to move fast with Sergio trying to hit on me and making not so subtle comments on how beautiful I was. So I tell Frankie about this, but her sister came into town and she didn't have any extra room for me. So I decide to hang in there hoping my card will get there soon and I knew my friends George, Suzanne, Katherine, Paress, and Laura would be coming back to B.A so we would all stay at a hostel together. I just stayed out of the house as much as possible. Again, this was during the bicentennial so one night I left to go to the celebrations at 9 de Julio. I had a great time. I was supposed to meet another friend, Sandra, whom I met at the Eco Yoga Park, but it was too crowded and without me having a phone and her phone not working we never met up. I took the Subte (subway) from Sergio's house, but when it was time for me to go back to his home the Subte was closed. I did not know the bus route and spoke very little Spanish. I tried to find a locutorio to call him and find the bus route, but all was closed. I said I guess I will just stay out until 5 am when the Subte reopens. I began to remember the time when I was in Paris with my friends Chris and Ralph, we would go out to a club then hang outside the subway waiting for it to open. So I go to a cafe called La Madeleine and sit next to two women. They were darker toned so I felt like I could blend in with them. I tried to explain to them in the little Spanish that I speak that I didn't know how to get home. They were really nice. They didn't speak any English but were funny. I asked them where they worked and the one girl said here and the other began to laugh. I said, you work here? That was odd to me, because the people in the restaurant didn't seem to know them. So we stayed until the restaurant closed, then they offered to help me find the bus route. So they were asking people for me. At one point a man came up and asked if the three of us were sisters and if he could have the three of us. The other girl that laughed earlier said this is our work. I was like oh, I am hanging with 2 prostitutes. On one hand I felt good that I could be picked up with a bald head and loose casual clothes. Imagine if I was dressed up. Also, honored that I could look like there sisters because they were gorgeous. I shook my head saying no, I am not working and just lost, they are helping me out. So the guy pulls out his guide book and tells me what bus to take home. I go to the bus stop and wait and wait. I start talking to this couple who were waiting for an hour prior to me coming. Turns out they lived near me, so they say we are going to walk to see if an alternative bus is working. So I walk with them to the next bus stop. There a guy who saw me with the two ladies try to pick me up. He asks if I was with them. I say no, they were helping me find out what bus to take. So after a few awkward minutes with this guy the bus comes and this guy grabs me to kiss me and the couple I was with interfered. The guy pulled me onto the bus. I was like this is crazy. So the couple was very nice and walked me home when I got off the bus, then walked to there home. I have found the people in Argentina to be very helpful. Sergio begins to get worst and says that nothing in life is for free. I didn't have access to money so he was buying food, but I was cooking and making sure to clean the house to earn my keep. Then he asked me why I keep rejecting him. I said I really need to get out of here. This was the day before I was to meet up with George, Suzanne and Katherine at the hostel. So I packed my stuff and left. I went to Recoleta to meet Frankie, I asked her if I could hang out at her house for a little so I could use the internet to look up some places. She basically said no, because she wasn't going to be home and her sister Ghessycka who was in town had work to do in the house. It is interesting in that when you need someone it turns out that the ones you think would help you don't and the ones you expect the least from will help you. These were people who are related to one of my closest friends back at home and I had met them in DC and when I was in a tough spot they wouldn't help me out. So, I decide to go to the Hostel and it turns out they accepted US money. I gave them my last $10, good thing I had that on me. I was able to relax for that night. The next day my crew came and I was staying in the same room as George and Suzanne, so George paid for the room. George who I only just met at the Park offered to give me money until I can get my card. And while in Lujan, Katherine gave me some money to hold me over until B.A. These are people that I barely new and they were helping me more than people I thought I knew. That is how life is I guess. I have learned to not have expectations. I didn't want to call home to worry my family and I really wanted to make this work on my own. So Sergio and Frankie did a bait and switch on me basically. I still wish them well, but now know who my friends are. I thank them for helping me learn how strong and resourceful I am as well as a valuable life lesson. Now, I am at the Bait Hostel and I ask if they are looking for help and I find out they need a cleaning person. So I offer to clean in exchange for the price of staying at the Hostel. The staff at Bait were awesome. They were like family to me. They did not know how much they helped me out in my time of need. Now, here I am cleaning at a Hostel, barely speaking Spanish. When I looked back I had to laugh because in the US a lot of the people who clean are Latino and don't speak much English. So here I am in S. America cleaning and barely speaking the Spanish. I must say though the cleaning was very meditative for me. It helped to keep me grounded and focused on the here and now. Everyday I cleaned it was like a purging of my unwanted layers. It was like peeling away the mandarin layers to get to my sweetness. I loved every moment of it. I also loved cleaning because I got to be around the staff all the time. There was Melvin, what can I say about Melvin. He is from California, went to B.A and never left. He was the go to guy for everything. Boy could he cook. I had to get help from him with my cooking. He knew where all the good parties were. Any day of the week that someone wanted to go out, all they had to do was ask Melvin where to go and he knew the best spots. He became my big brother, whenever I or anyone needed advice they could count on Melvin for it. I will always thank Melvin for my Thursday nights at Club 69 and Saturday nights at Levitar. Those are the two clubs where I had my head licked so many times, how could I ever forget them. They are both walking distance from Bait. Club 69 is a club where they have drag queens dancing on stage and guys break dancing. It is mostly electronic and dance music. They also have a second room that is a little more laid back, which plays dub music. It was so much fun. I definitely recommend it to anyone. Then there is Levitar that has 2 rooms, they play hip hop and rap in 1 room and dance in the other. That was a nice chill out spot. Then there was Nico. Nico had the best hair ever! I would always rub on his head to feel the softness. It got to the point that every time he came to work and saw me he would put his head down so that I could rub on it. He was so funny. He is from B.A. and had the best accent. I loved the way he said “Shut it up” when trying to tell you to shut up. He is a musical genius. He plays the guitar and was able to come up with the notes for “Private Party” by India Arie just by listening to it. He is currently on the road traveling through Europe with his band. I am sure they are having a blast. One night some of Nico's friends came to the Hostel and they did not know what they were in for. It happened to be during the time that George, Suzanne, Katherine, Paress, and Laura were all at Bait with me. This is the crew from the Eco Yoga Park. We had already been partying that night. We drank beer in the Hostel went to a Jazz club called, Theolonis, had more drinks then went back to the Hostel and finished the rest of their beer. One of Nico's friends ended up getting his chest hair shaved and there was a kissing contest. Crazy night. I had to go to bed earlier since I had to work the next morning, but I heard some crazy stories. There was also Adam. Adam was from England. I loved his accent as well. He was a tall good looking Brit. Didn't interact too much because of his shift and he left to return home. There was also Pablo. Pablo was the Asado cook. On Tuesday nights we had the Asado's. All you can eat meat and all you can drink wine. It was the best. Pablo did the grill and Melvin made the potato salad, which was delicious. Getting hungry now thinking about it. Most of the crew left me and Katherine behind. Katherine and I really bonded and found a Sai Baba center to go to for meditation and yoga. That was nice. We really needed to add that into the mix of all the partying that happens in B.A. I got to teach and attune Reiki to Katherine and Paress. That was really nice to work with them and watch them grow spiritually. It was really good for me as well. Nice practice in teaching and attuning Reiki. It was truly a blessing to watch Katherine mature during the 2 months that I knew her. I felt like she was my little sister. All the advice I gave her, felt like I was talking to the younger me. She really did remind me a lot of myself. After 3-4 weeks at Bait Hostel, Katherine and I decided to do Couch Surfing so that we could save some money and have a different scenery. I really wanted to stay with a local family and practice my Spanish and see what it was like to be local. She stayed with a guy named Frederico who was close to Bait and I stayed with Nahuel, who lived in Puerto Madero. P.M. is a beautiful and rich area. His family was very nice and welcoming. I have to thank Jenn Rose for introducing me to Nahuel on CS. His family welcomed me with open arms. Things flowed so well that I ended up staying there for 2 weeks. I did Reiki on Nahuel's mom, cooked for the family and enjoyed late night walking the dog with his mom. I practiced my Spanish and they practiced their English. It was a lot of fun. For father's day the family came over and I ended showing them all my pictures from India. I felt like part of the family. Katherine met me in P.M and we walked around the park and lake. It was really beautiful their. After my two weeks in P.M, I returned to Bait. Then we met Andy, who came from FL. Andy, Katherine, and I walked to a museum one day, but somehow got lost on our way back so ended up having to take a taxi. That was a nice adventure. Andy is a teacher back at home and was traveling to Argentina and S. Africa for his vacation. Andy was a lot of fun. He is the kind of guy that knows a little something about everything. I was supposed to leave with Katherine to go to Bolivia, but then my friend, Patricia from home emailed that she is going to Peru so I decided to go to Peru instead. Katherine left for Bolivia and I had a week left before I would head to Peru. I had to give notice and wait for Bait to find a cleaning person. In that week I met Minna and Amy. Amy was from England, but is teaching English in Thailand. Minna is from the states. Most people I met in Argentina were from England or USA. It was nice hanging out with Minna and Amy. One night we went to see Nico's friends perform at a bar and that was a lot of fun. The crowd was really into it. Everyone was singing and jumping up and down. The band was amazing, full of energy. I can only imagine how they are doing in Europe. I also met Abdul at Bait Hostel. He was really cool. He is an AA guy from the states. He was there to learn Spanish. I ended up CS with him as well for 3 days. He really welcomed me into his apartment and we had some great talks. I borrowed his book “On Writing” by Stephen King and met his friends Brianna, also AA from the states, and Patrick, from Africa. Patrick taught me how to make an Avocado salad that is to die for. Brianna wants to travel with me some, so we will see what happens. She is back at home now waiting for the weather to warm up before coming back to S.America. We talked about going to Brazil for Carnival. Hope it happens. Speaking of AA, I actually met quite a few. At a club called Sugar, I met Arielle, while on line for the bathrooms. She started talking to me. She is another AA from the states in Argentina studying Black Latinos. Very exciting school work. I also met Ruby and Erin while at La Bomba on a Monday night. La Bomba is the drumming group that plays on Mondays. They were on vacation. So I got to meet several AA from the states in Argentina. Go figure. For a second I couldn't remember if I was home or in another country. Part of traveling is meeting so many wonderful people that you would not otherwise meet at home. I can't wait to return to Bait. For now I am enjoying Peru.

The Roof is on Fire- Lujan, Argentina

So many of us bonded at the Eco Yoga Park that we could not bear to part. Paress, Laura, Martin, JT, Katherine, and I decided to head to Lujan to meet George and Suzanne for a night then head to Buenos Aires. It was a sad day when we all left the Park. Their were only three volunteers left and the staff seemed really sad to see us leave. We headed to the train station where we spent hours waiting for the train since our train never arrived and the next train was late. While we waited Laura busted out her mate, so we drank mate and joked around. There were some drunk Argentine guys that kept coming around to speak to us. We tried to not engage them. One guy kept talking to me and I kept saying "no comprendo" over and over. I guess he didn't care, just needed to talk. One of the guys had a 4 y/o daughter who threw a rock which hit Paress. Paress was simply lying down and was so shocked she jumped up saying what the hell. Once we realized it was the little girl we all started to laugh. The father dragged the girl over to apologize and she refused. Paress whispered that little bitch! This was even funnier. We all figured we needed a little break by then. So we walked to get some ice cream. Our one hour jouurney ended up being six hours filled with fun and laughter. The train finally arrived after we crossed the street to catch the bus. It was a wonderful train ride. We got much needed rest and Katherine and I enjoyed writing in our journals. On the second half of the train ride Katherine and I bonded through a "girls talk". We finally arrive to Lujan toting all of our bags. Katherine said it was only a five minute walk to the center so we decided to walk instead of catch a taxi. Of course this five minute walk turns out to be more like thirty minutes. We see the hotel that George and Suzanne are staying in, but we continue to walk to find a cheaper hotel or hostel. So we find one that is about three blocks away. It is nice and cozy and they have a room with five beds and a mat to put on the floor. We take it so that the six of us could be in the same room. We were so excited to see a nice clean bathroom and a shower with hot water. The little things that make you happy when travelling. We freshen up then head to the hotel to meet George and Suzanne.
We decided to go to a nice restaurant for dinner. There we drank beer, and I shared some lovely stories with everyone that made them laugh the entire night. After dinner, I decided to go back to the room to sleep and the rest went out for more drinks. Apparently they had a great time dancing and drinking. I heard that Paress and Katherine danced the night away. They of course came back into the room and all jumped onto my bed, licking my head and laughing. They told me how much fun they had and then Martin went into the bathroom to shave. When he came out we were all like why are you shaving at 3 O'clock in the morning. He said "why not" in good ole Martin fashion. We all laughed. As we were all in bed Katherine kept saying that if she gets cold she may end up in one of our beds and I told her to just get in the bed she wants and stop talking about it. She ended up staying in the mat on the floor with the little blanket. Poor thing. Initially the heat was on, but someone turned it off and we couldn't figure out how to turn it back on. The next morning I woke up early since I went to bed early and took advantage of the free breakfast. I then asked the lady to come into the room to turn on the heat, she did and I put some clothes that I need to dry over the heat. I left to take a walk and enjoy the town. It was a beautiful little town. Beautiful fashion and lots of alternative healing stores. Towards the end of my walk I run into George and Suzanne in one of the bookstores, so I walk with them some more than head to their hotel. Katherine and Martin later woke up and took a walk around town as well. Laura, Paress, and JT awoke to the smell of fire and see that a tshirt was burning up in flames. JT called George and told him what happened and I was like oh my God, I almost burned the place down cuz I left my clothes to dry. We go back to the hotel and realized it was Martin's tshirts that burned. He also had clothes that needed to dry so when mine were done he put his on the heater. His shirts had holes through them with black circles. You could smell the smoke. They opened the windows to air out the place. Katherine and Martin returned from there walk and we told them what happened. We all had a laugh. It was a good thing Martin would be going home soon because those were all his shirts. At least he could wear them under his sweaters.
We now go to this little restaurant for lunch and I swear they had the best pizza ever. We ate the Napolean pizza and it was mouth watering. The restaurant had wifi so while we ate, we all uploaded pictures from the Park and Martin checked on his tickets for his flight home. We finished up our meal and then checked out of the hotel. We were supposed to go to the Cathedral but we ran out of time. None of us wanted to say bye to George and Suzanne and vice versa so George and Suzanne decided to go to Buenos Aires, in a few days, to see Martin off. The six of us say bye to George and Suzanne and headed to the train station for our two hour ride to Buenos Aires. Once we get to B.A we separate due to me going to stay at Franceska's house(my friend Tacha's cousin), Katherine going to Bait Hostel or her friend's house, and the other three headed downtown to stay at Millhouse Hostel. Of course we meet up again.

Eco Yoga Park-Argentina

Where do I start? So my three month trip in India just ended and I was excited about going to Argentina and continuing where I left off. I was really looking forward to being on an Eco Yoga farm, meditating, doing yoga and eating a vegetarian diet daily. Little did I know I would find a balance of spirituality and craziness. I stayed at the Yoga Park for the best 37 days of my journey so far. I arrived at the Park on April 13 2010 not knowing anyone or how much fun I would have. The first three weeks I meditated, and practiced yoga daily. My personality quickly came out when I met Luciaaano(how I pronounced his name). He was a cute, 18 y/o new monk who just arrived 2 weeks before I did. Poor guy, he probably began to think that everyone who comes to the farm is crazy. I made his name sound Italian and would constantly call his name. I would constantly joke with him although he barely spoke English and I barely spoke Spanish. But we understood each other and I know he nor the staff will ever forget me. I would always ask him if he had a nightmare about me. Jennifer, Suzanne and George all had a bet on who would break who first. Would Luciano turn me into a Hare Krishna or would I turn Luciano into a free-spirited young man. He called Suzanne, Renee a few times so I really got in his head. Suzanne is a sweet lady from England who stayed in my house with her boyfriend Geoooorge (which is how it sounded when she would call him so I started calling him Geoooorge). Jennifer is known as the original J.Ro. She is from the states and is travelling the world. She, Suzanne, George, and I had lots of laughter and jokes while working on building the mud house. Luciano was in charge of the mud house that we were building. This was a lot of fun. It was good to work on the house daily and see its progression. I got to make the mixture of earth, clay, sand and grass and put it up layer by layer on the home. After that we had to put cow dung on the wall. I have never heard so many shit jokes in my life. Just in case you haven´t figured it out cow dung is cow´s poop. Suzanne and I worked on the cow dung consistently. We were good because the smell was so horrible. Finally, we got to paint the home with some natural paint texture. This was a lot of fun. I learned a lot about myself in the midst of putting cow dung on the wall.
Then there was Thakur, the director, who was really nice and patient with me. He had the best laugh that sounded like hah and he would lift his face up. There was another crazy lady there named Debbie who was there for about a month and we overlapped for a week. He was say that I am the reincarnation of Debbie, put his hand on his head than shake his head. I didn´t know the park was Hare Krishna until I got there. It was nice to talk to Thakur about Hare Krishna and learn more about there religion. They played Hare Krishna music/chants all day everyday. At one point, while working in the kitchen with Debbie and the Madres´ we made a Hare Krishna rap. When I say Hare, you say Krishna, Hare, Krishna......That was so hilarious. The madres and monks were all celibate and vegetarians. I think we brought out the fun in them and gave them some balance in their lives.
Jayavarda(sp?) was the madre with a beautiful voice and beautiful mother who could play the miranda so well. Actually her and her mother had amazing voices and played instruments very well. They both taught me to play the miranda. The miranda is an instrument which is like a two headed drum that you place on your legs and tap with hands on both ends. It took me a minute but I finally got it.
Then there was Govinda the most beautiful madre with a deep, husky voice. She was really sweet. I did Reiki on her and she loved it. All the men loved her and JT, my partner in crime wrote a song about her. Govinda´s cousin Goauda was the hardest yoga instructor we had. Her classes intimidated me.
Maria, Maria. Maria was this tiny but fierce Bolivian woman who was the gardener on the farm. She was the sweetest and tried to live vicariously through me. She really wanted to see me marry Pretty Ricky, a sarcastic, pretty boy but sweet under his core really named Rick from NYC. Everyday she would say Renee beso Ricuardo. Days I would run after her and Ricky with my poopy hands from putting up cow dung. She was always trying to get me to work in the garden. That was hard work, hoeing and weeding. I didn´t realize how hard that would be. I much preferred working on the mud house. To make Maria´s day Pretty Ricky and I actually kissed on the day that he was leaving. She became so happy and giggly. She thinks that he and I are meeting up in Bolivia and will become novio y novia (boyfriend and girlfriend).
Geooorge and Suzanne from England. They were staying in the ¨dark house¨ with me. The two of them are my heart. I truly love them with all my being. Little did I know that I would meet some really great people at this Park. Geoooorge was my other partner in crime. He was just as devilish as me. We really understood and got each other. Always on the same page. He was the one giving everyone the best advice ever. He loved us all and tried to show us during our late night ¨dark house¨ parties. He would tell us all how beautiful we were. Suzanne was quiet but strong. She was really great at Tai Chi. I did Reiki on her a few times. It was nice talking to her about the men at the Park, especially on the hot days when the guys would take off their shirts.
Katherine, she is the sweetest, tiniest little thing. I did Reiki on her several times and healed her tonsillitis. She couldn´t talk enough about Reiki and was the one to get everyone else to wanting me to do Reiki on them. She even drew me a beautiful painting of my Reiki hands. I inspired her, Suzanne and Paress to want to learn Reiki. I let them read my books and I plan on attuning them. Katherine has the best voice and I loved to listen to her and George sing and play the guitar.
Johnathan known as JT, is from Cali and was crazy like me. He made a sexually inappropriate song about Govinda. He made songs for everyone as they left the park and would sing at the going away ¨dark house¨ parties we had. He and I even co sang a song called ¨Sexual Yoga¨. He actually sang and I spoke in my sultry voice. It was hilarious.
Boomtang Martin was the sweetest, calmest, most even soul there. He always had the same expression and dealt with everything with calmness. He got a flesh eating bacterica that he called the beast. A brave soul cause I would have been freaking out. I gave him some Reiki as well for the beast. Sending some his way now. He was the first person to lick my head. During a train massage, he licked my bald head than said Ï accidentally licked your head¨. That was hilarious, so hilarious that Paress had to get in on the action and lick my head as well. Paress and Laura came to the farm and stayed in the ¨dark house¨as well. They are from the midwest. Paress was so bubbly and I loved her enthusiasm about everything. Everything was the best she ever had or did and was reaaal nice. Laura was her balance. Laura was sweet and probably helped to calm Paress down. Laura had the best music on her ipod.
J.Ro was there for only a short time but we bonded well. Wish she could have been there for the ¨dark house¨parties. J. Ro was also as crazy as I.
We had a lot of characters with great hearts on this farm. People I will never forget. People who are like family and that I truly love. I have learned so much from being on this farm. I learned that life is a balancing. I came here thinking that I was going to just do yoga and meditate, but I learned that I need a balance in my life. I need to stay true to me. I can be fun and crazy but still spiritual. Lots of people there said I would make a good ¨Guru¨/teacher because people can relate to. Because I am so down to earth. Before travelling I really thought about going to an interfaith school to get an interfaith minister's license. I don´t know if that will happen, but I know that I would be a good minister if I do get it. I could understand people and where they are and I don´t try to be perfect. I could only be me. I have gotten better and more confident in Reike due to doing Reiki on so many people at the farm. It was also good to do Reiki shares with Ben and Casey. A couple from the USA whom I inspired to get back into their Reiki. Ben and Casey travel for work with adolescents and young adults. So the taught us a lot of fun games that they use at work, such as 500, "22", word/picture game and this script game. It was a sad, sad day to leave to the Park. None of the staff wanted me to leave. Thakur and Maria asked me to stay and Thakur invited me to come back anytime and even offered to give me a ride from B.A anytime. Well I will definitely go back there when the weather warms up. Thank you Eco Yoga Park for opening my heart to love and for meeting such wonderful people and for teaching me the importance of balance in my life.

From Hell to Heaven in Only Eleven

I registered for a 10 day Vipassana Meditation retreat, which was actually 11 days long. You see when traveling on a spiritual pilgrimage in India, you don’t really have to plan anything. The places you need to go show up somehow. Since day one of my arrival to India the people I met told me I had to go to this 10 day Vipassana retreat. I literally heard about this in every city that I visited. So I decided to register. I researched it some and knew it would be strict because just to apply you have to agree to follow the stern rules of the program and their five precepts which are: 1. No sexual misconduct. 2. No killing of any living creature. 3. No lying-complete honesty. 4. No stealing. 5. No taking of intoxicants. Some of the rules where no speaking the entire time, no outside communication, and complete segregation of the sexes. So I leave Puttaparthi, to head to the outskirts of Bangalore now called Bengaluru, by taxi since I met 2 people that I could share the taxi with, then the last leg was by auto rickshaw. I arrive bags in tote and complete the student form. I meet some wonderful ladies and we talk it up before the time for silence arrives. There were more Indians than Westerners so we got to have some great educational conversations. The Indian women wanted to know why the women in the USA are so unstable. They viewed us as unstable and without security because we would have so many non lasting relationships with high divorce rates. In India the couples make the relationship work, they don’t give up on the spouse so easily. Everything that is worth having you must work hard for. We have the grace of God, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have to put effort into what we want. Why leave one set of problems for another set of problems. The grass is always greener on the other side. I got to learn the 5 symbols that married woman have. They have the red mark on the top of their forehead near the scalp, toe rings on both of the second toes, nose ring, a necklace and wearing the hair in one braid. If you were your hair out it means you are loose and 2 braids mean you are young and single. Now the talking ends and the hell begin. I walk into the dormitory and find my cubicle where my bed lies. I smell a bad smell. I think to myself “Damn someone really stinks, that fart is ferocious. As I go from the dormitory to the meditation halls I keep smelling the women and am like damn. On day two I realize I smell too! Now I need to know what smells. Is it my body, my feet, oh my breath. Now I know what smells but why is it smelling and how do I get to the root cause of it. This is what Vipassana does it gets to the root cause of our old patterns. It doesn’t just deal with the surface level. It is not putting in a chewing gum and calling it a day. The whole process was like going to a dentist for a root canal but not being able to have anesthesia to numb your mouth area. Can you imagine the drilling, the poking, the prodding, and then the extraction without anything to relieve the pain? Well, with Vipassana you learn to accept the pain with a calm mind and the understanding that the pain won’t last. Impermanence and awareness of your bodily sensations are the focus of this meditation. Don’t come here thinking it is a vacation and you will get to relax because it is a meditation. I am here to tell you that it’s not, but you get so much more. They work on getting rid of your old habit patterns and old faulty way of thinking. All this is done by the awareness of the breath and any body sensations that you may experience. We wake up at 4 am and begin meditating at 4:30am until 9 pm. We meditate for 2 hours then eat breakfast, after breakfast we meditate for 3 hours with a break then after lunch meditate for 4 hours with 2 breaks. Then we have a discourse and another 1 ½ hour meditation in the evening. The goal is to sit without moving. Even though you begin to have back pain, knee pain, and pain in other parts of the body for sitting for so long, we have to focus on the breath, remain equanimous with the bad and good pain. We can’t seek cravings or aversion. You sit through the pain while screaming inside all kinds of curse words. On day 2, I could remember saying make it stop, and wanting to cry in my head. Day 2 was the most difficult for me. I felt tremendous pain during the meditations. I noticed that on our breaks the physical pain would go away. The pain was only while sitting but would leave almost instantaneously to stretching. In my mind I knew relief would come, but I couldn’t want for the relief either because that is a craving. By day 3, the back pain I experienced was gone. For some reason it was a breeze for me. Day 4 was hell again. Each day we had to do a different meditational exercise while sitting for the extended period. That was helpful because it kept me from getting bored, but the exercises became increasingly difficult. The exercises were aimed at sharpening the mind. There were several things happening at once. At one point I felt a sensory overload because I got bit by a mosquito and it began to sting really bad and it was at the time that my knees were in tremendous pain and my back was hurting so I said F*** it and moved. I was somewhat disappointed but still proud of the fact that I sat for the other periods without moving. I remember thinking on day 6 that I could join the marines now. The mind training that they do on the marines must be similar. This is geared at strengthening you so that you don’t crack under pressure. You are trained to observe yourself, observe your reactions and observe your body under pain, pleasure, whatever and not react. It is like you are watching a movie, just the observer, taking yourself out of the picture and not reacting. I was still feeling the pain by day 10 and I guess that was the point to still experience the pain but to be able to be an observer. I have to say that going to the Mooji Satsangs in Thiruvannamalai truly helped prepare me for this. Mooji would tell us to meditate on “I am” and just observe what we are feeling or experiencing. He really emphasized awareness and observance and would ask “Can the observer be observed?” Day 11 (their day 10 because they start with day 0 which is why they call it a 10 day retreat instead of 11) we were able to break the silence and can you imagine how much chattering was going on? It was such a relief to speak to someone and not have such long meditation periods. Also, on the last day we learned a meditation for sending love, compassion, and our good merit to others. This was beautiful. Thus, going from Hell to Heaven in only 11 days. The true test will be when I go home and someone does something that would normally piss me off. Will I be able to observe myself and not react or will I react? I also experienced that Hell is within and Heaven is within. We create our misery because we don’t except change. When we say we love someone it is not always a pure unconditional love. It is wanting to control the person, to be possessive of them and we have expectations of them. We do or give expecting them to give or do back. If we truly love someone we would do for them without any expectations in return, we would not try to possess them. That is what unconditional love is about. We have to remove our blinders. You see the person you want to see, not the person for who they really are, and then you try to change them to who you want them to be. Can you truly love someone for who they are the good, the bad, and the ugly? To see pics of retreat go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/rmadolphe92/VipassanaRetreat#

Principality of Ripping Someone Off

This is a principle that some businessmen must hold on to closely in India. It is a very strong principle. One must hold onto it by any means necessary. It is known that if a westerner visits India that the salesman(of clothing or art store), taxi driver, or auto rickshaw driver will charge you double. As a westerner you must understand it and either accept it or bargain hard. Now, I am originally from NY and my parents are Haitian so I bargain hard! What can I say? The Principle of Ripping someone off is sooo strong that the businessman can be so broke and hungry that they will still follow it. It doesn't matter, they must hold onto this by any means necessary. To take an auto rickshaw is generally 10 Rupees(RS) per KM, but the auto rickshaw driver will double or more than double this. One night I was walking with a friend and we had 1 km to go, a rickshaw stopped and asked us if we needed a lift, so we said where we were going and he asked for 40 RS. We said 10 RS and he said no and drove off. My girlfriend and I laughed because he was going in the direction that we were heading. This was a straight road and the only turn he could make was after our drop off would have been. So we said he rather not make any money than to get the 10 RS. How crazy...10 RS could have been his breakfast. This has happened on several occasions to me and other foriegners. The rickshaw driver will quote an enormous price and then won't bend and is willing to lose out on the money. I keep on looking because eventually someone will agree to the right price. If not, I walk and hope to lose some of the weight I have put on by eating so much rice here.

Mooji

I headed to Thiruvannamalai and once there, everyone said you have to see Mooji. Mooji is from Jamaica, but lives in London now and travels giving satsang. Satsang is a question and answer format that helps one become self realized. I arrived in Thiru (abbreviated) on January 21 and saw Mooji on the 22nd. I was like wow all these people traveled near and far to India to learn from a black man. How funny is this? People were bowing to his feet, crying, laughing and trying to get as close to him as possible. I don't know if he is Christian, Hindu, or what, but it doesn't matter. Your specific religion doesn't matter, because there is only one God and all religions pretty much teach the same thing but in different ways. Mooji is definitely enlightened and he genuinely cares and wants to help us become enlightened. After the first week of going to Mooji's satsang I decided to stay in Thiru until Feb 15, which is when Mooji leaves India. Mooji really gets you to think about who you are and tells you to sit in silence. Silence is the key to self knowledge which brings peace. One cannot find peace through the outside (external things) only from looking within. He asks questions to help you realize who you are. During his satsangs I had so many aha moments and felt really great. I got to the point where I can let go of attachments and know that I am not my body or mind. I am That. I was and Am before I was Renee or before I was a daughter, sister, psychotherapist, etc. I am Presence. In Thiru, the people walk 14 km around Arunachula Mountain every full moon. Mooji organized a walk for January 29th which was the full moon and his birthday. That day satsang was extra special. The energy was more intense and Mooji was in rare form. Usually after satsang Mooji will go downstairs and sit quietly but this day he first loving threw candy in the air and people were graciously catching the candy. He then walked through the crowd and gave out candy to everyone who was sitting. People were receiving the candy with tears in their eyes and hugging and thanking him. At this moment I decided to attend his birthday celebration. At first I wasn't, but the energy was so great I had too. So I bought the ticket for 200 rupees (RS). After he went downstairs they gave out cupcakes as well. It was awesome. So later that day, everyone gathered at 5:30 pm to walk with Mooji around Arunachula. It was awesome to see so many people gather to walk with Mooji. It was really heartfelt. Mooji would switch up and hold different people’s hands from young to old as he walked. This 14km walk took 4 hours due to the large crowd and not being able to walk fast. I was exhausted and my feet hurt but I was so ecstatic. The people of Thiru walk around Arunachula barefoot every full moon as a remembrance of and devotion to God. There were thousands of people that came out just to walk. I am truly blessed to be able to have witnessed and be present to such an experience. Then on Feb 1, Mooji had his birthday party. This is a man who says he does not socialize nor have conversations unless it is to teach or be taught, so I wondered how good the party would be. To my surprise this was the best party ever. There was no alcohol and obviously no drugs allowed at the gathering. The hotel was beautiful and had a gorgeous swimming pool. Tons of people showed up for the party. Everyone was able to let loose and be free in a good way to enjoy themselves. I danced so much and did not care how I looked or who was there. This was such a liberating experience. They played music with themes on love and freedom. They had performances, great food and Mooji spoke at the end. Words really can't describe my overall experience with Mooji. Well after I spent the last 2 weeks with Mooji, I decided to be brave enough to ask him a question. So on Feb 3 I went up for the first time and asked him about my mind. I told him that my mind is constantly chattering and thinking and I am trying to let that go and not analyze everything so much. I want to just be. I am aware of what is happening but haven't been able to let it go. Mooji got me to the point of stillness. I can't even describe what happened, but I am almost there. At the end of our discussion I gave him a hug and he told me that something special was going to happen to me soon. A few people thanked me for going up to ask him a question and said that I was inspiring. Mooji quotes: “Empty your mind so God can work through you.”; “Conquer thought by the certitude that there is no such thing as thought”; “To forget everything is to remember the self”. Link to Mooji pics: http://picasaweb.google.com/rmadolphe92/Mooji#