Whereever You Go There You Are- Up Close and Personal

I left the Washington, DC area close to a year and a half ago. I left specifically with the goal of figuring out who I am and what my purpose is in life. I was doing pretty well, I had a wonderful job, owned my own home, owned a SUV, had a wonderful family but something felt missing. I met some wonderful men and yet I was still single at 35. I knew it was time to figure out what was going on and what I could do differently. As I traveled, I have been blessed to meet some wonderful people. Little did I know how fun, yet how difficult this journey would be. I believe one can do this journey while home or while traveling. For me I knew I needed to travel. The difficulty came in the fact that I could not escape myself. At home I could. I had so many distractions, three jobs, tons of friends, so much to do to keep me away from myself. At first, I found myself doing the same thing, keeping busy with the people I met. Yes, I stayed in Ashrams and yoga parks where I would meditate everyday, but still I kept myself busy. I have been blessed to see India and now S. America. At the same time blessed to now focus on myself. I really had to start with being honest with myself. I have always been one to always have a smile on my face and not really share my down moments with others or really even with myself. It is really difficult to be honest with oneself. This is what I had to start doing. To really look at myself and notice when I am being self-centered, lazy, or even undisciplined. It is easier to blame things on other. Now I can´t do that, I really have to take a look in the mirror. All though I left home alone and said I will travel alone, I was always traveling with someone whether is was for a few days to seven months. While in Colombia, I met a woman who invited me into her home and did a Maya calendar reading for me. She told me I need to be alone. She didn´t say anything new. I have known this for years. The last seven months I have been traveling with a wonderful person whom I love dearly. We became the best of friends, although it was a difficult journey. We were really good at calling each other on our stuff, which of course led to arguments, but I am thankful because he was a good enough friend to always be honest with me whether I wanted to hear it or not and vice versa. I truly believe God brought us together to help each other grow, and learn while being supportive. Now it is time for me to be alone and learn to love being with me. Learning how to build a relationship with myself. I have begun to share with myself. Every morning and night before I sleep I speak with myself. I am my confidant. I share my innermost secrets, my fears, my joys and my sorrows. I ask myself "am I being honest with myself?" I am the only person who will always be there for me. I am the only person I can truly trust. Sai Baba says "The distance between God and you is the same distance between you and yourself". How true this is. God is within all of us, so as I build a stronger relationship with myself I too am building a stronger relationship with God. The same is true that as I pray and meditate and build my stronger connection to God, I am growing closer to myself. I am taking everything that I have discovered about myself while traveling throughout India, S. America, and from David and the other friends that I have met along the way and am taking a deep look within. I have always admired people who have this inner sense of serenity and peace and now people are commenting on how calm and serene I appear. People have commented on how courageous I am to travel alone around the world. It wasn´t until now, that I began to feel confident and more and more at peace with myself. Maybe that is what is showing. I hope to continue to grow in my relationship with God and myself. I laughed and cried so many nights. This has been a tough journey. I now know that I made it more difficult than it had to be. It is all about the attitude in which you take things. You can choose to complain and be miserable or you can accept the way things happen and know that God is in control and everything happens for a reason whether we see it or not. Not only do we have to accept what is, but we must also be open to seeing why God chose for this to happen, whether we like it or not. True spirituality comes from how many crosses we can bear with the right attitude. I am thankful for everything I have found on this journey whether I liked it or not. Now I am traveling solo and loving every minute of it. See "Greatest Love of All" : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w