Whereever You Go There You Are- Up Close and Personal

I left the Washington, DC area close to a year and a half ago. I left specifically with the goal of figuring out who I am and what my purpose is in life. I was doing pretty well, I had a wonderful job, owned my own home, owned a SUV, had a wonderful family but something felt missing. I met some wonderful men and yet I was still single at 35. I knew it was time to figure out what was going on and what I could do differently. As I traveled, I have been blessed to meet some wonderful people. Little did I know how fun, yet how difficult this journey would be. I believe one can do this journey while home or while traveling. For me I knew I needed to travel. The difficulty came in the fact that I could not escape myself. At home I could. I had so many distractions, three jobs, tons of friends, so much to do to keep me away from myself. At first, I found myself doing the same thing, keeping busy with the people I met. Yes, I stayed in Ashrams and yoga parks where I would meditate everyday, but still I kept myself busy. I have been blessed to see India and now S. America. At the same time blessed to now focus on myself. I really had to start with being honest with myself. I have always been one to always have a smile on my face and not really share my down moments with others or really even with myself. It is really difficult to be honest with oneself. This is what I had to start doing. To really look at myself and notice when I am being self-centered, lazy, or even undisciplined. It is easier to blame things on other. Now I can´t do that, I really have to take a look in the mirror. All though I left home alone and said I will travel alone, I was always traveling with someone whether is was for a few days to seven months. While in Colombia, I met a woman who invited me into her home and did a Maya calendar reading for me. She told me I need to be alone. She didn´t say anything new. I have known this for years. The last seven months I have been traveling with a wonderful person whom I love dearly. We became the best of friends, although it was a difficult journey. We were really good at calling each other on our stuff, which of course led to arguments, but I am thankful because he was a good enough friend to always be honest with me whether I wanted to hear it or not and vice versa. I truly believe God brought us together to help each other grow, and learn while being supportive. Now it is time for me to be alone and learn to love being with me. Learning how to build a relationship with myself. I have begun to share with myself. Every morning and night before I sleep I speak with myself. I am my confidant. I share my innermost secrets, my fears, my joys and my sorrows. I ask myself "am I being honest with myself?" I am the only person who will always be there for me. I am the only person I can truly trust. Sai Baba says "The distance between God and you is the same distance between you and yourself". How true this is. God is within all of us, so as I build a stronger relationship with myself I too am building a stronger relationship with God. The same is true that as I pray and meditate and build my stronger connection to God, I am growing closer to myself. I am taking everything that I have discovered about myself while traveling throughout India, S. America, and from David and the other friends that I have met along the way and am taking a deep look within. I have always admired people who have this inner sense of serenity and peace and now people are commenting on how calm and serene I appear. People have commented on how courageous I am to travel alone around the world. It wasn´t until now, that I began to feel confident and more and more at peace with myself. Maybe that is what is showing. I hope to continue to grow in my relationship with God and myself. I laughed and cried so many nights. This has been a tough journey. I now know that I made it more difficult than it had to be. It is all about the attitude in which you take things. You can choose to complain and be miserable or you can accept the way things happen and know that God is in control and everything happens for a reason whether we see it or not. Not only do we have to accept what is, but we must also be open to seeing why God chose for this to happen, whether we like it or not. True spirituality comes from how many crosses we can bear with the right attitude. I am thankful for everything I have found on this journey whether I liked it or not. Now I am traveling solo and loving every minute of it. See "Greatest Love of All" : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w

Childlike in Nature

I remember being at a Darshan in Kerala, India listening to Amma speak about being childlike in nature. She said one should not be childish, but childlike. We should always smile, love life, have enthusiasm about learning, being gentle and vulnerable. I have heard or read from other great teachers who spoke of this childlike nature, but what that truly meant never sunk in. It wasnt until this morning during my daily meditation that it hit me. I thought back to yesterday, my first day teaching the kids of the Favelas (projects). I remembered how great I felt when I walked into the room and the kids ran to hug me. They were all so loving. They had this zest to learn and to show me what they already knew. While counting they would jump ahead. They asked so many questions. When I had to erase the board they would jump to volunteer to do it. These kids were so helpful and thoughtful. They gave of themselves without any expectations. I thought to myself, if this can make me feel so good, imagine if I was this way with others. What would the world be like if we could openly give of ourselves without any expectations in return? What if, we could be enthusiastic in our quest to learn about ourselves, to learn about God, to learn about other cultures? What would it be like if we could love all and trust in life? These are children who live on the streets, have parents in jail, and/or dont know when they will have there next meal, but yet they are sharing a piece of cake with me and just so giving and loving. This is the way I could be. It doesnt take much. Like Nike says Just Do It. So from now I strive to be childlike in nature. Not worrying about how others should be, just focusing on how I should be and naturally sharing this love I have found. I have received far more from these kids than I could ever give them. The gift of learning how to love, share, give openly, trust, vulnerability, laugh at yourself because in the end nothing is that serious, and the zest for wisdom. Thank you!

More pieces to the puzzle in Colombia

The plan was to go to Colombia, for a Vision Quest, but I found out that I was unable to attend because I had to work for a year with the group to know everyone and for them to know me, before I could undergo a serious journey. With this sad news I wondered where to go next or what to do. My only reason for going to Colombia was for the vision quest. So I pondered on whether to return to Argentina or Peru. But then I met this lovely couple Juan Carlos and Natalia, whom were from Colombia. They told David and I about some wonderful spiritual places and a retreat center named Oceano in Colombia. Natalia also told us that her mom lives outside of Sopo and we would be welcomed to stay with her for a few days. So David and I looked online and found Oceano, they were having a "Living From the Heart" four day retreat beginning Dec. 26. The website also said that people are allowed to stay in their monastery. They also offered reiki, biodanza, yoga, and meditation to name a few. So, David and I decided to go. This looked like the next step in my journey. We left Ecuador by bus within a few days. Most of the roads were closed due to severe rain. To get to Oceano, which is in Filandia, you have to travel through mountains. Huge rocks tumble down in the rain and the scare of landslides had everything closed. So Pasto was the only place we could go too. So we went to Pasto and hoped the roads would open by Dec 25. As luck would have it, it did. Meanwhile the morning of the 25th (Christmas) David and I went to visit Laguna LaCoche. It was a huge beautiful lake. The day was clear, the sun shined bright and there was a light breeze in the air. We enjoyed a walk, some meditating and just sitting by the lake. We then enjoyed a Christmas dinner and quickly had to head to the bus terminal to catch our overnight bus into Pereira. Once in Pereira we caught a "combi(small van that is a cross of a taxi and bus)" into Filandia. The workshop was perfect in that it was a continuation of the work I was doing in Ecuador. Living from the heart, speaking my truth always, and speaking or acting from love. We danced, did meditations, guided imagery, yoga, tai chi and several other workshops. It re-inspired my love for dance. The difficulty in attending a retreat solely in Spanish is that I could probably understand about 75%. The best part were the people there. They were all so loving. We had three people invite us into their home to stay. We only had time to stay with two. The first was in Pereira. We stayed with our new friend Enrique (Kike) at his beautiful home in Viterbo, just outside of Pereira. For New Year's Eve we spent time at his mother's home in Pereira with the rest of his family. We ate a wonderful meal and danced all night. We were able to have such a relaxing time there. Kike took us to a Temascal in La Florida, and I was able to do reiki on his sister and cousin. After a week and half we left for Rocio's house in Santa Rosa. It was nice and relaxing there as well. Rocio and her friend Natalia did Maya calendar readings for both of us. It was very interesting. The readings were quite accurate. Here David and I realized we were each other's challenge. His destiny symbol was the same as my what to work on symbol and my destiny symbol was his what he needs to work on symbol. We were told I have learn how to be silent and listen from him and he needs to learn how to be inquistive and speak out more like me. On an ego level we clash, but on a higher conscious level we compliment each other. Now we know why we don't see eye to eye at times. It has been a long and difficult journey with the two of us, but David helps me to see when my ego is taking control, he forces me to face my fears, challenges me often, makes me speak my truth, and supports me one hundred percent. I know that I too challenge him, I also help him see when his ego is taking control, I help him to see things from another perspective, help him to grow and support him. The universe knew what it was doing when it brought us togehter. It was really nice to stay at Rocio’s and be around strong women. Her 86 year old mother took us on a walk on their huge farm and even gave me her walking stick when climbing up the mountain. Yes, I felt ashamed. Rocio took us to two thermal baths which were absolutely amazing. San Vicente was more natural and beautiful than Santa Rosa, but both were wonderful. It was a sad day when we had to leave for Bogota. Rocio and Kike took us to the bus terminal and waited for the bus to pull off and as it did we waved goodbye. It was amazing how we connected so quickly. They really felt like family. Bogota was a pit stop for me to get my Brazilian Visa. While waiting for the visa to arrive, we went to Sopo and Villa de Leyva. We stayed at Natalia’s moms house in Sopo. While in Ecuador Natalia said we were welcome to stay at her mom’s home, but we have to bring her chocolate and so we did. Beatriz, Natalia’s mom welcomed us with open arms. She had a beautiful home with a tennis court and son who had drums, guitar, and all the instruments you need for a rock band. It was nice to play a little of tennis and percussion. Beatriz was quite special, she did a numerology reading for us, which was also quite accurate. Colombia was a time for me to find more pieces to the puzzle of who I am and what my purpose is in this life. After the numerology reading, Beatriz decided to balance my chakras, and open my palms to do healing work. She also did an opening so I can see aura’s. All I need to do now is practice seeing aura’s. Once the visa was ready we went to Santa Marta. Stayed in Taganga and Tayrona Park for a few days. Tayrona Park is the most beautiful place that I have been to so far in my year of traveling. This is South America’s best kept secret. It had a beautiful clean beach the color of teal, a forest area to go hiking, and another strenuous trail to hike to the ruins of El Pueblito. Strenuous but a must do! After all of this beauty and learning we flew to Leticia, the Amazon side of Colombia. I remember walking up to the cabin we were to stay for a few days and the man that greeted us was drunk and had green powder flying out of his mouth when speaking . My first thought was “we need to find another place to stay”. He opened the gate, then told us to wait while he get the owner. The owner than came and apologized saying that it was the worker’s birthday, which is why he was drunk. While there we ate at the same restaurant everyday and every time we would ask do you have breakfast or lunch and they would say no. Once we ask do you have eggs and bread, they say yes. Then I would say so you have breakfast, then they would say but we have no meat. Same for lunch or dinner, they would say no, because they did not have meat, but they always had rice, salad, and or eggs. It wasn’t like we had any other choices so we ate the same thing everyday. But it was nice to sit and speak with all the indigenous people who stopped at the restaurant. The owner was very nice and caring, by the third day when we went for breakfast and yet again she said no she didn’t have and again we asked if she had eggs but this time she said aren’t you tired of eating eggs everyday? So thoughtful of her, so she cooked the eggs differently this time. We were able to visit the Maloka, which is the place they have town meetings, or ceremonies. They also have indigenous guards to protect the indigenous. They take turns walking around with the stick. We also met the local shamans, a husband and wife team. The woman definitely seemed to be more intuitive, but both strong in their healing. They gave me avocado leaf tea to drink to clean my urinary tract. I guess it worked. They were my age and really interesting to get to know. The indigenous people in that community refer to the Colombians as Colonials. At least the ones we were around saw the Colombians as foreigners. Very interesting. We then boarded the boat for a three day boat ride into Brazil, in which I slept in a hammock the entire time. Boy was I glad to get off that boat. I am truly thankful for Colombia. It helped me continue the work of being in the heart and acting from love. It helped me to see that I am to be of service in this world and that I am to heal people with truth, love, my smile, and through art. Now I just need to put all of this together.