From Peru to Ecuador

Little did I know that a simple email would change my life. So my three months visa was coming to an end in Argentina and I needed to decide where to go. I was talking to my friend Katherine, whom I met at the Eco Yoga Farm about traveling to Bolivia together. Than I received an email from my friend, Patricia. Patricia is the most loving and sweet woman ever. We worked together at the Crisis Center. She is from Peru and wrote that she would be coming to Peru to spend time with her family and would love for me to join her. I decided to head to Peru and meet up with Katherine later. So I took the 3 day bus to head into Lima. It was a long, but nice ride. I guess after 3 days you really get to know people who are around you. By the end of the trip many of us exchanged email addresses and I was invited to visit them while in Peru. I arrived to the home of Patricia´s family and what a wonderful family she had. They treated me like I was there daughter. Very loving, caring and fun. Despite the language barrier we got along very well and was able to work together smoothly. Her parents and sisters did not speak English, but her brothers did. I spoke a little Spanish at the time. It was nice spending time, sharing, cooking with, and learning about Peru from the Rosales´. I got to meditate and share reiki with her family. We also enjoyed Salsa dancing and traveling throughout the country. We went to beautiful Caraz, which had had breathtaking mountains and hiking. We went to the magical energetic center of the country, Macchu Picchu. Enjoyed Pachamancha, food cooked under the ground with vocanic rocks. Most of all we laughed, shared, learned, and loved each other. It was nice after traveling for 6 months on my own to now be with a loving family that I could call my own. I continue to keep in touch with my new family who welcomes me whenever I return to Lima. We went to Cusco for a five day trip, but whilst in Cusco I had the feeling of needing to stay. It was difficult because I traveled with my family and was enjoying my time there so I had thoughts of going back to Lima with them and just returning to Cusco later but something inside me said I had to stay then. So as hard as it was I said my goodbyes while they returned to Lima and I stayed in Cusco by myself. I didn´t know where I would go or what I would do but I had the feeling I needed to stay. As we traveled I learned about a medicine plant, San Pedro. Patricia and I had spoke to a Shaman at the Shaman Shop, in Cusco. He was recommended by someone at the Hospedaje we were staying at. We spoke to him about the ceremonies, but after having a Coca leaf reading by him I was sure about doing a ceremony with him. I still wasn´t sure if I wanted to try San Pedro. I remembered about the Casa de La Gringa, a guy from my Hostal in Buenos Aires recommended. So I went there and later decided to do the San Pedro. (You can read more about this in my last blog, San Pedro) This changed the course of my trip. Now my three month visa was ending again and I needed to leave Peru. I ended up staying in Cusco for almost 2 months. A 5 day trip turned into a 2 month self work intense retreat. I knew I needed a mental break after doing work with S.P. and constantly speaking of what I need to change with my friend, David. At the same time I received an email that another friend, Susanna, from home was returning to Ecuador to live. Susanna and I met at Won Buddhist temple. Another wonderful lady I have been blessed to meet. So I decided to head North and go to the beaches in North Peru and Southern Ecuador then head to Quito to meet Susanna. I asked David to join me. I thought he might enjoy a break as well at the beach. So, he decided the join me. We first headed to Trujillo. Stayed in a little beach town just outside of Trujillo. It was beautiful and comfortable. Almost no tourists there, so it was nice and quiet. It was too cold to swim but we were able to enjoy walks on the beach and touring the city. We visited the pyramids, Huaca de Sol, and Huaca de Luna. Then we headed to Mancora. Mancora was just as beautiful but a little more crowded. It was more sunny here so we were able to enjoy swimming and watching all the surfers. They had regular and kite surfing. This was the first time I had heard of kite surfing so it was nice to see the people on the surfboard being driven by a huge kite. I wanted to learn, but it was a 3 day course for over $200. I felt like that money could be more wisely used for food and shelter. We first stayed in a nice Hostal a little further down the beach and then later decided to spend a tiny bit more to have a hotel on the beach. So we left Angeles Hotel to head to Pink Parrot. Pink Parrot was beautiful. They had the beach chairs that we could lay out on and read, relax, or just people watch. From here David decided to travel with me to Ecuador. We stopped in Guayaquil for a night then went to Montañita beach. There we were blessed to meet Maider. We happened to be walking to look for a Hostel to stay and saw here place. She is also a Reiki Practitioner. So we stopped and spoke to her for about 2 hours. She told us of a Ayahuasca ceremony that her and Jorge would be having. I was excited and at the same time scared. I have always heard that Ayahuasca was stronger than San Pedro and it really makes you face your fears. The plant is a medicine and works on what you need. It forces you to see yourself. So now I am on a working vacation. We were able to enjoy Montañita. It was much like Mancora. At the same time do more work. We both decided to do the ceremony which meant we would have to stay for at least a week there. It was a wonderful ceremony. They had everyone roll sacred pure tobacco in paper, while putting our intention of what we want to work on inside. Everything was done with intention and purpose. We then had to sniff tobacco water to clear our third eye and prepare us for the ceremony. After we smoked the tobacco while praying. After shared a prayer we then drank the sacred plant. Of course, it was not a pleasant taste, but who says medicine should be pleasant. People have different experiences on the medicine. Some people see their deepest fears, some see the beauty of life, I saw an angel give me something. I couldn´t see what it was for some reason, but I was given something. I asked what it was and was told when I was ready I will know what it was. I can´t wait to find out, and am doing the work I need to be ready. After a few hours we then went into the Temascal (sweat lodge). We had to crawl in and at the end crawl to the door then stand to walk out. This is because the Temascal is the womb of the earth and symbolizes a rebirthing. The whole experience can not be beautifully described by me in words right now. Maider told us of a place to go in Agua Blanca and Peguche. She also told me about a few ceremonies and a vision quest. So we went to Agua Blanca and enjoyed a limpieza. A cleaning with plants. We also enjoyed bathing in the sulfur lake. We decided we would go visit Peguche when we go to Quito since it was just outside of Quito. En route to Quito we stopped in Canoa to visit yet another beach town. This was smaller than Trujillo and we had to take a bus, than boat to get there. The boat ride was nice and Canoa was a nice little town to visit. We made it to Quito just in time to go to the All Soul´s ceremony that Maider told us about. I invited Susanna to go. She was skeptical because we would drink Ayahuasca and she like most people who do not know what it is assumes that it is a drug. I include myself in that. When I first heard of Ayahuasca and San Pedro I thought they were like drugs and that they alter your mind. But they don´t. Susanna decided to join us and was thankful she did. We lit the sacred tobacco said our prayers and drank. This was a sacred fire and dance ceremony so we later danced. We danced and sang for hours and drank more. The energy felt amazing. We all felt connected to everyone and to this beautiful earth of ours. I could let go of any fears and just be. Not worry about anything or anyone. My true self was free to just be. We could dance away any fears or anxieties or anything holding us back. They had the women together and then the men together. We would skip in a line then break the line and free dance. I could hear the sacred drumming in the background and I felt connected to the music. I could feel the happiness in my heart and life in my body. Susanna felt the same. She loved every moment of it. David as well was able to let go and get in touch with dancing. We all felt thankful for this experience. Then we had a wonderful week staying and sharing with Susanna. We learned more about Ecuador and enjoyed wonderful Ecuadorian food. We were able to do some sight seeing at La Ronda and throughout the city. While in Quito it was nice to meet up with Suzanne, my friend from the eco yoga park in Argentina. We were able to catch up and spend some time together. Then we headed to Peguche. We met Geovanny and Maike. Geovanny is a Shaman and Maike does Reiki. We told them how we met Maider and Jorge and that they referred us there. We didn´t do a ceremony there but spoke to them about the Vision Quest. They really spoke of the beauty of it in Columbia. A vision quest is a 4 day meditation around sacred fire in the forest, where you don´t eat or drink for the whole time. Here you work on growing spiritually and finding your life´s direction. Then you begin to work on apprenticing to be a medicine person. You must commit to doing the 7,9, and 13 day vision quest after the first one. They are all a year apart. So this is a big commitment that I will soon undergo. They have 2 in S. America during January. One in Ecuador and one in Columbia. Since my 3 months is almost ending and it would be nice to see Columbia I am deciding to do it there. As for now, we left Quito, went to Tena, the jungle and am now at Vrindavan, another Eco Yoga Park outside of Baños. It has been beautiful chanting again, meditating by the river, doing yoga, and doing volunteer work to help the community. We took a break to visit Baños yesterday and today to see the active volcano and finally blog. So, I left Argentina not knowing that I would learn of San Pedro and Ayahuasca and meet such wonderful people along the way. My biggest lesson in all of this is to always speak from the heart and have every action come from love or from the heart.

San Pedro

While in Argentina, I spoke to people of my plans of going to Peru. I had a few people tell me of must go to places and must do things. Amongst them was San Pedro. What is this San Pedro? I have never heard of it. I brushed it off saying I am not going to do it. It sounds like you are not in control of your body when you take it. I like to be in control of my body. I enter into Peru and while on a tour in Caraz, the guide spoke of San Pedro (S.P). She discussed how the The Priests (Inca Period) would take S.P to cleanse themselves before rituals and how S.P was a healer and teacher. So I became fascinated. But she also spoke of the cleansing process, which is vomiting. Although fascinated I did not like the idea of vomiting. So my first month in Peru, I spent time in Lima thinking about this, discussing it with the friends from Peru as well as some friends that I met in Argentina who did it. I still was not convinced. But then I arrived in Cusco, decided to read online about San Pedro. Now, I learn of S.P and Ayahuasca. S.P is a plant and Ayahuasca is a vine. They are both teachers and healers. Ayahuasca mostly used in the jungle and S.P on the coastal region. Ayahuasca sounded pretty intense. It is said that you face your fears and learn from past hurts and disappointments. You also have vision to help guide you. S.P is more gentle and helps you to connect with nature. In speaking to several “guides”, and shamans I was told if I was to do it to begin with S.P since it is more gentle. I also felt the need to connect more with nature. Yes, I was also scared of the intensity of Ayahuasca. Still not convinced that I would try S.P. I went to Casa de la Gringa. I remembered that one of the recommendations I was given for S.P while in Argentina was to work with Lesley from Casa de la Gringa. So I went there. Lesley was in England for 3 weeks doing ceremonies there. I felt warm and comfortable in her Casa and saw her reiki certificates. The staff there were so wonderful and told me about the S.P ceremonies and gave me the guest book to look through. I read through and saw so many amazing stories of how S.P has helped and transformed people. I said if I am going to to do S.P I will do it with Lesley. The other thing I heard was that you have to do it with someone you feel comfortable with and truly trust. I felt both. The day came to do the ceremony. I had fasted the morning of and could only eat light vegetarian meals the day prior. Surprisingly, I wasn't hungry. A little nervous but ready. The night before I set my intention of what I wanted to work on and was ready. That morning 11 of us sat in Lesley's garden outside of the Temple of the Moon. She said a prayer, silently said a prayer and asked that my intentions be worked on. I set two intentions:1. To help me understand why I can not commit in relationships, to allow me to work so that I can enter into a loving relationship; 2. To show me what is needed so that I can become a better healer/therapist. Than I drank. The S.P was thick and disgusting. Well, not too disgusting, but not a pleasant taste. I could feel the fear inside of me, not knowing what to expect. After about 30 minutes, I began to feel nauseous and anxious. I sprinkled some Florida water onto the palms of my hands to be re-centered. I looked around the garden and marveled at the beautiful flowers, plants and huge stones. I had the urge to move and walk around, lots of nervous energy. So I moved to go sit alone on a big rock. Sat there for a few minutes, than walked a bit, than sat again, shifted in my seat. Got up moved around some more, nausea set in again. This time I vomited. The cleansing began. I looked to identify what I was releasing. I was releasing the fear I had. I got up, decided to write in my journal, but couldn't so I put the journal down and stood. A man approached. He hadn't done the S.P that day, but was staying at the house and did S.P on previous occasions. His name, that I found out later that night, was David. He asked me if I was ok. I thought to myself, “do I look ok”?, but smiled and said yes. He then said he overheard me saying that I do reiki and if I can send him some energy. He reached out his hand to me. I put my hand on the top of his and thought to myself. “I don't know this guy, why does he want my energy. Well I need to protect myself and not give him all my energy”, He begins to say to me that I am very guarded. I am not trusting in relationships and I need to make myself more vulnerable. He began telling things about myself in relationships and that I need to cry. I was amazed at how intuitive and correct he was. “Who is this man? How does he know these things about me?” Then he asked if he could give me a hug. At this point I let down my guard and said yes. We hugged and he said he feels family stuff. Then said he feels my father. I was like whoa, because as soon as he said that I could feel the presence of my father. I knew his spirit was there with us. My father than began to speak to me through David. David became a medium. My father, through David, was able to impart wisdom and advice to me regarding relationships. I began to cry and slobber all of this stranger. Still not knowing his name. I had never experienced anything like this in my life. This was an amazing gift. In speaking with David, he too had never experienced anything like that. He had never been a medium before. Later David and I walked up to the Temple of the Moon and walked up the mountain. We spoke more of the message that I received and what I can do about it. This is why so many people have said if you have the opportunity to experience S.P you should. As for the second part of my intention, David has continued to help me grow as a healer and as a person. We continue to be friends and have begun to travel together for some time. Everyday we meditate or speak about life and healing. This will have to be another blog since this one if devoted for S.P. :-). All I have to say now is thank you San Pedro. I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to travel, to learn from new cultures and people, and to grow emotionally, mentally, and physically!

Beauty

So I woke up this morning, wanting to sleep in. I thought to myself “I don't have anywhere to be, I don't have to go to work, why do I need to wake up” But nonetheless I did. I got up made breakfast, took a shower, than headed out the house. I live about 35 minutes from the center of town and usually walk there instead of taking taxi or bus. Why not walk, I am never in a rush. So as I walked today, I got to think a lot. A lot about life and beauty. I decided to shave my head bald while I was in India. It was one of the most freeing things I have ever done. In India, I got a lot of comments from day one. People would rub on my head and say how beautiful it was. In Argentina, I had my head licked so many times and even had a woman from Brazil tell me how courageous and beautiful I was. She said that no woman in Brazil would ever shave there head. She admired my courageousness. Now in Peru, I am called “Mamacita Linda” all the time. So why as women do we put so much money into our hair and makeup? I have even had people ask me what do I use on my skin and say that my skin is glowing. I tell them that I do not have a skin care regimen. I use whatever cheap soap I can buy at the time. Before traveling I had a separate soap that I used for my face, but now I use the same soap for everything. Now, I that I don't spend money on hair care or facial products, I get the most compliments. So do we really need to spend all this money for beauty? Or is it about being happy and stress-free? There were days in Argentina that I felt down, because the woman there are gorgeous and have the best clothes and shoes. All of my beautiful clothes and shoes were back home and I didn't have the money to go buy a new wardrobe nor would that make sense since I am backpacking and can't carry a lot of things. I wanted to go out and buy makeup and at least one pair of sexy boots. But I didn't and I am glad, because I was able to learn that beauty is within. It has nothing to do with how much money we spend on clothes, makeup, facial products, or hair products. As women it is vital to love yourself as you are and not buy into marketing companies trying to sell all these products just to make money. Love our natural beauty.

Bait and Switch

So after Lujan we headed to Buenos Aires. The first night I stayed at Frankie's house. Argentina was celebrating there bicentennial all week long, so I arrived at a perfect time. Frankie and I went downtown to meet Laura, Paress, and Martin at a chinese restaurant. The food was ok. I was eying the fried chicken on their plate, but unfortunately the buffet was all out of the chicken. So we all finished up dinner and the walked to 9 de Julio for the festivities. There was a band playing and everyone was free and just having a great time. The music was really nice and the energy was vibrant. We jumped up and down and danced. It was really great, felt like being at a carnival. When it came time to leave we had to catch the bus. In Argentina you have to hold out your hand to signal the bus to stop. Now the bus driver decides whether he wants to stop or not. Of course with it being so late and their being many people on line the bus drivers were deciding not to stop. So we had to decide whether to walk to her place or walk to another bus stop. We decided on walking to another bus stop that was closer to her house and would have less people, figuring the odds would be better to catch a bus. So after 2 hours of walking and trying to catch a bus we finally reached her home. It was a great way to learn the city and see how the buses operate. The next day we went to recoleta's market, which was a cute little market. It has lots of nice trinkets and arts and crafts for sale. After recoleta's market we met Sergio at dinner so he could pick me up. I met Sergio in India. He is a slightly older man who was going to the same Guru that I was going to in Thiruvannamalai. In meeting him, I told him I was going to travel through S. America and he said when I come to Argentina I can stay with him. I thought this to be a nice gesture. He never seemed interested in me and he seemed to be quite spiritual. So we finish eating than I head to his house. When we first get there he says, the extra room is messy would you like to sleep in my room, so I say, no, that is ok, I don't mind a messy room. I will just sleep in the extra room. He tells me to hold on while he tidy's up the room, so I wait. Let me step back for a minute. While in General Rodriquez I found out my ATM card expired, so I had no access to money. I only had 75 pesos until I could get my new card. So I go into the room and settle in to sleep. Things began to move fast with Sergio trying to hit on me and making not so subtle comments on how beautiful I was. So I tell Frankie about this, but her sister came into town and she didn't have any extra room for me. So I decide to hang in there hoping my card will get there soon and I knew my friends George, Suzanne, Katherine, Paress, and Laura would be coming back to B.A so we would all stay at a hostel together. I just stayed out of the house as much as possible. Again, this was during the bicentennial so one night I left to go to the celebrations at 9 de Julio. I had a great time. I was supposed to meet another friend, Sandra, whom I met at the Eco Yoga Park, but it was too crowded and without me having a phone and her phone not working we never met up. I took the Subte (subway) from Sergio's house, but when it was time for me to go back to his home the Subte was closed. I did not know the bus route and spoke very little Spanish. I tried to find a locutorio to call him and find the bus route, but all was closed. I said I guess I will just stay out until 5 am when the Subte reopens. I began to remember the time when I was in Paris with my friends Chris and Ralph, we would go out to a club then hang outside the subway waiting for it to open. So I go to a cafe called La Madeleine and sit next to two women. They were darker toned so I felt like I could blend in with them. I tried to explain to them in the little Spanish that I speak that I didn't know how to get home. They were really nice. They didn't speak any English but were funny. I asked them where they worked and the one girl said here and the other began to laugh. I said, you work here? That was odd to me, because the people in the restaurant didn't seem to know them. So we stayed until the restaurant closed, then they offered to help me find the bus route. So they were asking people for me. At one point a man came up and asked if the three of us were sisters and if he could have the three of us. The other girl that laughed earlier said this is our work. I was like oh, I am hanging with 2 prostitutes. On one hand I felt good that I could be picked up with a bald head and loose casual clothes. Imagine if I was dressed up. Also, honored that I could look like there sisters because they were gorgeous. I shook my head saying no, I am not working and just lost, they are helping me out. So the guy pulls out his guide book and tells me what bus to take home. I go to the bus stop and wait and wait. I start talking to this couple who were waiting for an hour prior to me coming. Turns out they lived near me, so they say we are going to walk to see if an alternative bus is working. So I walk with them to the next bus stop. There a guy who saw me with the two ladies try to pick me up. He asks if I was with them. I say no, they were helping me find out what bus to take. So after a few awkward minutes with this guy the bus comes and this guy grabs me to kiss me and the couple I was with interfered. The guy pulled me onto the bus. I was like this is crazy. So the couple was very nice and walked me home when I got off the bus, then walked to there home. I have found the people in Argentina to be very helpful. Sergio begins to get worst and says that nothing in life is for free. I didn't have access to money so he was buying food, but I was cooking and making sure to clean the house to earn my keep. Then he asked me why I keep rejecting him. I said I really need to get out of here. This was the day before I was to meet up with George, Suzanne and Katherine at the hostel. So I packed my stuff and left. I went to Recoleta to meet Frankie, I asked her if I could hang out at her house for a little so I could use the internet to look up some places. She basically said no, because she wasn't going to be home and her sister Ghessycka who was in town had work to do in the house. It is interesting in that when you need someone it turns out that the ones you think would help you don't and the ones you expect the least from will help you. These were people who are related to one of my closest friends back at home and I had met them in DC and when I was in a tough spot they wouldn't help me out. So, I decide to go to the Hostel and it turns out they accepted US money. I gave them my last $10, good thing I had that on me. I was able to relax for that night. The next day my crew came and I was staying in the same room as George and Suzanne, so George paid for the room. George who I only just met at the Park offered to give me money until I can get my card. And while in Lujan, Katherine gave me some money to hold me over until B.A. These are people that I barely new and they were helping me more than people I thought I knew. That is how life is I guess. I have learned to not have expectations. I didn't want to call home to worry my family and I really wanted to make this work on my own. So Sergio and Frankie did a bait and switch on me basically. I still wish them well, but now know who my friends are. I thank them for helping me learn how strong and resourceful I am as well as a valuable life lesson. Now, I am at the Bait Hostel and I ask if they are looking for help and I find out they need a cleaning person. So I offer to clean in exchange for the price of staying at the Hostel. The staff at Bait were awesome. They were like family to me. They did not know how much they helped me out in my time of need. Now, here I am cleaning at a Hostel, barely speaking Spanish. When I looked back I had to laugh because in the US a lot of the people who clean are Latino and don't speak much English. So here I am in S. America cleaning and barely speaking the Spanish. I must say though the cleaning was very meditative for me. It helped to keep me grounded and focused on the here and now. Everyday I cleaned it was like a purging of my unwanted layers. It was like peeling away the mandarin layers to get to my sweetness. I loved every moment of it. I also loved cleaning because I got to be around the staff all the time. There was Melvin, what can I say about Melvin. He is from California, went to B.A and never left. He was the go to guy for everything. Boy could he cook. I had to get help from him with my cooking. He knew where all the good parties were. Any day of the week that someone wanted to go out, all they had to do was ask Melvin where to go and he knew the best spots. He became my big brother, whenever I or anyone needed advice they could count on Melvin for it. I will always thank Melvin for my Thursday nights at Club 69 and Saturday nights at Levitar. Those are the two clubs where I had my head licked so many times, how could I ever forget them. They are both walking distance from Bait. Club 69 is a club where they have drag queens dancing on stage and guys break dancing. It is mostly electronic and dance music. They also have a second room that is a little more laid back, which plays dub music. It was so much fun. I definitely recommend it to anyone. Then there is Levitar that has 2 rooms, they play hip hop and rap in 1 room and dance in the other. That was a nice chill out spot. Then there was Nico. Nico had the best hair ever! I would always rub on his head to feel the softness. It got to the point that every time he came to work and saw me he would put his head down so that I could rub on it. He was so funny. He is from B.A. and had the best accent. I loved the way he said “Shut it up” when trying to tell you to shut up. He is a musical genius. He plays the guitar and was able to come up with the notes for “Private Party” by India Arie just by listening to it. He is currently on the road traveling through Europe with his band. I am sure they are having a blast. One night some of Nico's friends came to the Hostel and they did not know what they were in for. It happened to be during the time that George, Suzanne, Katherine, Paress, and Laura were all at Bait with me. This is the crew from the Eco Yoga Park. We had already been partying that night. We drank beer in the Hostel went to a Jazz club called, Theolonis, had more drinks then went back to the Hostel and finished the rest of their beer. One of Nico's friends ended up getting his chest hair shaved and there was a kissing contest. Crazy night. I had to go to bed earlier since I had to work the next morning, but I heard some crazy stories. There was also Adam. Adam was from England. I loved his accent as well. He was a tall good looking Brit. Didn't interact too much because of his shift and he left to return home. There was also Pablo. Pablo was the Asado cook. On Tuesday nights we had the Asado's. All you can eat meat and all you can drink wine. It was the best. Pablo did the grill and Melvin made the potato salad, which was delicious. Getting hungry now thinking about it. Most of the crew left me and Katherine behind. Katherine and I really bonded and found a Sai Baba center to go to for meditation and yoga. That was nice. We really needed to add that into the mix of all the partying that happens in B.A. I got to teach and attune Reiki to Katherine and Paress. That was really nice to work with them and watch them grow spiritually. It was really good for me as well. Nice practice in teaching and attuning Reiki. It was truly a blessing to watch Katherine mature during the 2 months that I knew her. I felt like she was my little sister. All the advice I gave her, felt like I was talking to the younger me. She really did remind me a lot of myself. After 3-4 weeks at Bait Hostel, Katherine and I decided to do Couch Surfing so that we could save some money and have a different scenery. I really wanted to stay with a local family and practice my Spanish and see what it was like to be local. She stayed with a guy named Frederico who was close to Bait and I stayed with Nahuel, who lived in Puerto Madero. P.M. is a beautiful and rich area. His family was very nice and welcoming. I have to thank Jenn Rose for introducing me to Nahuel on CS. His family welcomed me with open arms. Things flowed so well that I ended up staying there for 2 weeks. I did Reiki on Nahuel's mom, cooked for the family and enjoyed late night walking the dog with his mom. I practiced my Spanish and they practiced their English. It was a lot of fun. For father's day the family came over and I ended showing them all my pictures from India. I felt like part of the family. Katherine met me in P.M and we walked around the park and lake. It was really beautiful their. After my two weeks in P.M, I returned to Bait. Then we met Andy, who came from FL. Andy, Katherine, and I walked to a museum one day, but somehow got lost on our way back so ended up having to take a taxi. That was a nice adventure. Andy is a teacher back at home and was traveling to Argentina and S. Africa for his vacation. Andy was a lot of fun. He is the kind of guy that knows a little something about everything. I was supposed to leave with Katherine to go to Bolivia, but then my friend, Patricia from home emailed that she is going to Peru so I decided to go to Peru instead. Katherine left for Bolivia and I had a week left before I would head to Peru. I had to give notice and wait for Bait to find a cleaning person. In that week I met Minna and Amy. Amy was from England, but is teaching English in Thailand. Minna is from the states. Most people I met in Argentina were from England or USA. It was nice hanging out with Minna and Amy. One night we went to see Nico's friends perform at a bar and that was a lot of fun. The crowd was really into it. Everyone was singing and jumping up and down. The band was amazing, full of energy. I can only imagine how they are doing in Europe. I also met Abdul at Bait Hostel. He was really cool. He is an AA guy from the states. He was there to learn Spanish. I ended up CS with him as well for 3 days. He really welcomed me into his apartment and we had some great talks. I borrowed his book “On Writing” by Stephen King and met his friends Brianna, also AA from the states, and Patrick, from Africa. Patrick taught me how to make an Avocado salad that is to die for. Brianna wants to travel with me some, so we will see what happens. She is back at home now waiting for the weather to warm up before coming back to S.America. We talked about going to Brazil for Carnival. Hope it happens. Speaking of AA, I actually met quite a few. At a club called Sugar, I met Arielle, while on line for the bathrooms. She started talking to me. She is another AA from the states in Argentina studying Black Latinos. Very exciting school work. I also met Ruby and Erin while at La Bomba on a Monday night. La Bomba is the drumming group that plays on Mondays. They were on vacation. So I got to meet several AA from the states in Argentina. Go figure. For a second I couldn't remember if I was home or in another country. Part of traveling is meeting so many wonderful people that you would not otherwise meet at home. I can't wait to return to Bait. For now I am enjoying Peru.

The Roof is on Fire- Lujan, Argentina

So many of us bonded at the Eco Yoga Park that we could not bear to part. Paress, Laura, Martin, JT, Katherine, and I decided to head to Lujan to meet George and Suzanne for a night then head to Buenos Aires. It was a sad day when we all left the Park. Their were only three volunteers left and the staff seemed really sad to see us leave. We headed to the train station where we spent hours waiting for the train since our train never arrived and the next train was late. While we waited Laura busted out her mate, so we drank mate and joked around. There were some drunk Argentine guys that kept coming around to speak to us. We tried to not engage them. One guy kept talking to me and I kept saying "no comprendo" over and over. I guess he didn't care, just needed to talk. One of the guys had a 4 y/o daughter who threw a rock which hit Paress. Paress was simply lying down and was so shocked she jumped up saying what the hell. Once we realized it was the little girl we all started to laugh. The father dragged the girl over to apologize and she refused. Paress whispered that little bitch! This was even funnier. We all figured we needed a little break by then. So we walked to get some ice cream. Our one hour jouurney ended up being six hours filled with fun and laughter. The train finally arrived after we crossed the street to catch the bus. It was a wonderful train ride. We got much needed rest and Katherine and I enjoyed writing in our journals. On the second half of the train ride Katherine and I bonded through a "girls talk". We finally arrive to Lujan toting all of our bags. Katherine said it was only a five minute walk to the center so we decided to walk instead of catch a taxi. Of course this five minute walk turns out to be more like thirty minutes. We see the hotel that George and Suzanne are staying in, but we continue to walk to find a cheaper hotel or hostel. So we find one that is about three blocks away. It is nice and cozy and they have a room with five beds and a mat to put on the floor. We take it so that the six of us could be in the same room. We were so excited to see a nice clean bathroom and a shower with hot water. The little things that make you happy when travelling. We freshen up then head to the hotel to meet George and Suzanne.
We decided to go to a nice restaurant for dinner. There we drank beer, and I shared some lovely stories with everyone that made them laugh the entire night. After dinner, I decided to go back to the room to sleep and the rest went out for more drinks. Apparently they had a great time dancing and drinking. I heard that Paress and Katherine danced the night away. They of course came back into the room and all jumped onto my bed, licking my head and laughing. They told me how much fun they had and then Martin went into the bathroom to shave. When he came out we were all like why are you shaving at 3 O'clock in the morning. He said "why not" in good ole Martin fashion. We all laughed. As we were all in bed Katherine kept saying that if she gets cold she may end up in one of our beds and I told her to just get in the bed she wants and stop talking about it. She ended up staying in the mat on the floor with the little blanket. Poor thing. Initially the heat was on, but someone turned it off and we couldn't figure out how to turn it back on. The next morning I woke up early since I went to bed early and took advantage of the free breakfast. I then asked the lady to come into the room to turn on the heat, she did and I put some clothes that I need to dry over the heat. I left to take a walk and enjoy the town. It was a beautiful little town. Beautiful fashion and lots of alternative healing stores. Towards the end of my walk I run into George and Suzanne in one of the bookstores, so I walk with them some more than head to their hotel. Katherine and Martin later woke up and took a walk around town as well. Laura, Paress, and JT awoke to the smell of fire and see that a tshirt was burning up in flames. JT called George and told him what happened and I was like oh my God, I almost burned the place down cuz I left my clothes to dry. We go back to the hotel and realized it was Martin's tshirts that burned. He also had clothes that needed to dry so when mine were done he put his on the heater. His shirts had holes through them with black circles. You could smell the smoke. They opened the windows to air out the place. Katherine and Martin returned from there walk and we told them what happened. We all had a laugh. It was a good thing Martin would be going home soon because those were all his shirts. At least he could wear them under his sweaters.
We now go to this little restaurant for lunch and I swear they had the best pizza ever. We ate the Napolean pizza and it was mouth watering. The restaurant had wifi so while we ate, we all uploaded pictures from the Park and Martin checked on his tickets for his flight home. We finished up our meal and then checked out of the hotel. We were supposed to go to the Cathedral but we ran out of time. None of us wanted to say bye to George and Suzanne and vice versa so George and Suzanne decided to go to Buenos Aires, in a few days, to see Martin off. The six of us say bye to George and Suzanne and headed to the train station for our two hour ride to Buenos Aires. Once we get to B.A we separate due to me going to stay at Franceska's house(my friend Tacha's cousin), Katherine going to Bait Hostel or her friend's house, and the other three headed downtown to stay at Millhouse Hostel. Of course we meet up again.

Eco Yoga Park-Argentina

Where do I start? So my three month trip in India just ended and I was excited about going to Argentina and continuing where I left off. I was really looking forward to being on an Eco Yoga farm, meditating, doing yoga and eating a vegetarian diet daily. Little did I know I would find a balance of spirituality and craziness. I stayed at the Yoga Park for the best 37 days of my journey so far. I arrived at the Park on April 13 2010 not knowing anyone or how much fun I would have. The first three weeks I meditated, and practiced yoga daily. My personality quickly came out when I met Luciaaano(how I pronounced his name). He was a cute, 18 y/o new monk who just arrived 2 weeks before I did. Poor guy, he probably began to think that everyone who comes to the farm is crazy. I made his name sound Italian and would constantly call his name. I would constantly joke with him although he barely spoke English and I barely spoke Spanish. But we understood each other and I know he nor the staff will ever forget me. I would always ask him if he had a nightmare about me. Jennifer, Suzanne and George all had a bet on who would break who first. Would Luciano turn me into a Hare Krishna or would I turn Luciano into a free-spirited young man. He called Suzanne, Renee a few times so I really got in his head. Suzanne is a sweet lady from England who stayed in my house with her boyfriend Geoooorge (which is how it sounded when she would call him so I started calling him Geoooorge). Jennifer is known as the original J.Ro. She is from the states and is travelling the world. She, Suzanne, George, and I had lots of laughter and jokes while working on building the mud house. Luciano was in charge of the mud house that we were building. This was a lot of fun. It was good to work on the house daily and see its progression. I got to make the mixture of earth, clay, sand and grass and put it up layer by layer on the home. After that we had to put cow dung on the wall. I have never heard so many shit jokes in my life. Just in case you haven´t figured it out cow dung is cow´s poop. Suzanne and I worked on the cow dung consistently. We were good because the smell was so horrible. Finally, we got to paint the home with some natural paint texture. This was a lot of fun. I learned a lot about myself in the midst of putting cow dung on the wall.
Then there was Thakur, the director, who was really nice and patient with me. He had the best laugh that sounded like hah and he would lift his face up. There was another crazy lady there named Debbie who was there for about a month and we overlapped for a week. He was say that I am the reincarnation of Debbie, put his hand on his head than shake his head. I didn´t know the park was Hare Krishna until I got there. It was nice to talk to Thakur about Hare Krishna and learn more about there religion. They played Hare Krishna music/chants all day everyday. At one point, while working in the kitchen with Debbie and the Madres´ we made a Hare Krishna rap. When I say Hare, you say Krishna, Hare, Krishna......That was so hilarious. The madres and monks were all celibate and vegetarians. I think we brought out the fun in them and gave them some balance in their lives.
Jayavarda(sp?) was the madre with a beautiful voice and beautiful mother who could play the miranda so well. Actually her and her mother had amazing voices and played instruments very well. They both taught me to play the miranda. The miranda is an instrument which is like a two headed drum that you place on your legs and tap with hands on both ends. It took me a minute but I finally got it.
Then there was Govinda the most beautiful madre with a deep, husky voice. She was really sweet. I did Reiki on her and she loved it. All the men loved her and JT, my partner in crime wrote a song about her. Govinda´s cousin Goauda was the hardest yoga instructor we had. Her classes intimidated me.
Maria, Maria. Maria was this tiny but fierce Bolivian woman who was the gardener on the farm. She was the sweetest and tried to live vicariously through me. She really wanted to see me marry Pretty Ricky, a sarcastic, pretty boy but sweet under his core really named Rick from NYC. Everyday she would say Renee beso Ricuardo. Days I would run after her and Ricky with my poopy hands from putting up cow dung. She was always trying to get me to work in the garden. That was hard work, hoeing and weeding. I didn´t realize how hard that would be. I much preferred working on the mud house. To make Maria´s day Pretty Ricky and I actually kissed on the day that he was leaving. She became so happy and giggly. She thinks that he and I are meeting up in Bolivia and will become novio y novia (boyfriend and girlfriend).
Geooorge and Suzanne from England. They were staying in the ¨dark house¨ with me. The two of them are my heart. I truly love them with all my being. Little did I know that I would meet some really great people at this Park. Geoooorge was my other partner in crime. He was just as devilish as me. We really understood and got each other. Always on the same page. He was the one giving everyone the best advice ever. He loved us all and tried to show us during our late night ¨dark house¨ parties. He would tell us all how beautiful we were. Suzanne was quiet but strong. She was really great at Tai Chi. I did Reiki on her a few times. It was nice talking to her about the men at the Park, especially on the hot days when the guys would take off their shirts.
Katherine, she is the sweetest, tiniest little thing. I did Reiki on her several times and healed her tonsillitis. She couldn´t talk enough about Reiki and was the one to get everyone else to wanting me to do Reiki on them. She even drew me a beautiful painting of my Reiki hands. I inspired her, Suzanne and Paress to want to learn Reiki. I let them read my books and I plan on attuning them. Katherine has the best voice and I loved to listen to her and George sing and play the guitar.
Johnathan known as JT, is from Cali and was crazy like me. He made a sexually inappropriate song about Govinda. He made songs for everyone as they left the park and would sing at the going away ¨dark house¨ parties we had. He and I even co sang a song called ¨Sexual Yoga¨. He actually sang and I spoke in my sultry voice. It was hilarious.
Boomtang Martin was the sweetest, calmest, most even soul there. He always had the same expression and dealt with everything with calmness. He got a flesh eating bacterica that he called the beast. A brave soul cause I would have been freaking out. I gave him some Reiki as well for the beast. Sending some his way now. He was the first person to lick my head. During a train massage, he licked my bald head than said Ï accidentally licked your head¨. That was hilarious, so hilarious that Paress had to get in on the action and lick my head as well. Paress and Laura came to the farm and stayed in the ¨dark house¨as well. They are from the midwest. Paress was so bubbly and I loved her enthusiasm about everything. Everything was the best she ever had or did and was reaaal nice. Laura was her balance. Laura was sweet and probably helped to calm Paress down. Laura had the best music on her ipod.
J.Ro was there for only a short time but we bonded well. Wish she could have been there for the ¨dark house¨parties. J. Ro was also as crazy as I.
We had a lot of characters with great hearts on this farm. People I will never forget. People who are like family and that I truly love. I have learned so much from being on this farm. I learned that life is a balancing. I came here thinking that I was going to just do yoga and meditate, but I learned that I need a balance in my life. I need to stay true to me. I can be fun and crazy but still spiritual. Lots of people there said I would make a good ¨Guru¨/teacher because people can relate to. Because I am so down to earth. Before travelling I really thought about going to an interfaith school to get an interfaith minister's license. I don´t know if that will happen, but I know that I would be a good minister if I do get it. I could understand people and where they are and I don´t try to be perfect. I could only be me. I have gotten better and more confident in Reike due to doing Reiki on so many people at the farm. It was also good to do Reiki shares with Ben and Casey. A couple from the USA whom I inspired to get back into their Reiki. Ben and Casey travel for work with adolescents and young adults. So the taught us a lot of fun games that they use at work, such as 500, "22", word/picture game and this script game. It was a sad, sad day to leave to the Park. None of the staff wanted me to leave. Thakur and Maria asked me to stay and Thakur invited me to come back anytime and even offered to give me a ride from B.A anytime. Well I will definitely go back there when the weather warms up. Thank you Eco Yoga Park for opening my heart to love and for meeting such wonderful people and for teaching me the importance of balance in my life.

From Hell to Heaven in Only Eleven

I registered for a 10 day Vipassana Meditation retreat, which was actually 11 days long. You see when traveling on a spiritual pilgrimage in India, you don’t really have to plan anything. The places you need to go show up somehow. Since day one of my arrival to India the people I met told me I had to go to this 10 day Vipassana retreat. I literally heard about this in every city that I visited. So I decided to register. I researched it some and knew it would be strict because just to apply you have to agree to follow the stern rules of the program and their five precepts which are: 1. No sexual misconduct. 2. No killing of any living creature. 3. No lying-complete honesty. 4. No stealing. 5. No taking of intoxicants. Some of the rules where no speaking the entire time, no outside communication, and complete segregation of the sexes. So I leave Puttaparthi, to head to the outskirts of Bangalore now called Bengaluru, by taxi since I met 2 people that I could share the taxi with, then the last leg was by auto rickshaw. I arrive bags in tote and complete the student form. I meet some wonderful ladies and we talk it up before the time for silence arrives. There were more Indians than Westerners so we got to have some great educational conversations. The Indian women wanted to know why the women in the USA are so unstable. They viewed us as unstable and without security because we would have so many non lasting relationships with high divorce rates. In India the couples make the relationship work, they don’t give up on the spouse so easily. Everything that is worth having you must work hard for. We have the grace of God, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have to put effort into what we want. Why leave one set of problems for another set of problems. The grass is always greener on the other side. I got to learn the 5 symbols that married woman have. They have the red mark on the top of their forehead near the scalp, toe rings on both of the second toes, nose ring, a necklace and wearing the hair in one braid. If you were your hair out it means you are loose and 2 braids mean you are young and single. Now the talking ends and the hell begin. I walk into the dormitory and find my cubicle where my bed lies. I smell a bad smell. I think to myself “Damn someone really stinks, that fart is ferocious. As I go from the dormitory to the meditation halls I keep smelling the women and am like damn. On day two I realize I smell too! Now I need to know what smells. Is it my body, my feet, oh my breath. Now I know what smells but why is it smelling and how do I get to the root cause of it. This is what Vipassana does it gets to the root cause of our old patterns. It doesn’t just deal with the surface level. It is not putting in a chewing gum and calling it a day. The whole process was like going to a dentist for a root canal but not being able to have anesthesia to numb your mouth area. Can you imagine the drilling, the poking, the prodding, and then the extraction without anything to relieve the pain? Well, with Vipassana you learn to accept the pain with a calm mind and the understanding that the pain won’t last. Impermanence and awareness of your bodily sensations are the focus of this meditation. Don’t come here thinking it is a vacation and you will get to relax because it is a meditation. I am here to tell you that it’s not, but you get so much more. They work on getting rid of your old habit patterns and old faulty way of thinking. All this is done by the awareness of the breath and any body sensations that you may experience. We wake up at 4 am and begin meditating at 4:30am until 9 pm. We meditate for 2 hours then eat breakfast, after breakfast we meditate for 3 hours with a break then after lunch meditate for 4 hours with 2 breaks. Then we have a discourse and another 1 ½ hour meditation in the evening. The goal is to sit without moving. Even though you begin to have back pain, knee pain, and pain in other parts of the body for sitting for so long, we have to focus on the breath, remain equanimous with the bad and good pain. We can’t seek cravings or aversion. You sit through the pain while screaming inside all kinds of curse words. On day 2, I could remember saying make it stop, and wanting to cry in my head. Day 2 was the most difficult for me. I felt tremendous pain during the meditations. I noticed that on our breaks the physical pain would go away. The pain was only while sitting but would leave almost instantaneously to stretching. In my mind I knew relief would come, but I couldn’t want for the relief either because that is a craving. By day 3, the back pain I experienced was gone. For some reason it was a breeze for me. Day 4 was hell again. Each day we had to do a different meditational exercise while sitting for the extended period. That was helpful because it kept me from getting bored, but the exercises became increasingly difficult. The exercises were aimed at sharpening the mind. There were several things happening at once. At one point I felt a sensory overload because I got bit by a mosquito and it began to sting really bad and it was at the time that my knees were in tremendous pain and my back was hurting so I said F*** it and moved. I was somewhat disappointed but still proud of the fact that I sat for the other periods without moving. I remember thinking on day 6 that I could join the marines now. The mind training that they do on the marines must be similar. This is geared at strengthening you so that you don’t crack under pressure. You are trained to observe yourself, observe your reactions and observe your body under pain, pleasure, whatever and not react. It is like you are watching a movie, just the observer, taking yourself out of the picture and not reacting. I was still feeling the pain by day 10 and I guess that was the point to still experience the pain but to be able to be an observer. I have to say that going to the Mooji Satsangs in Thiruvannamalai truly helped prepare me for this. Mooji would tell us to meditate on “I am” and just observe what we are feeling or experiencing. He really emphasized awareness and observance and would ask “Can the observer be observed?” Day 11 (their day 10 because they start with day 0 which is why they call it a 10 day retreat instead of 11) we were able to break the silence and can you imagine how much chattering was going on? It was such a relief to speak to someone and not have such long meditation periods. Also, on the last day we learned a meditation for sending love, compassion, and our good merit to others. This was beautiful. Thus, going from Hell to Heaven in only 11 days. The true test will be when I go home and someone does something that would normally piss me off. Will I be able to observe myself and not react or will I react? I also experienced that Hell is within and Heaven is within. We create our misery because we don’t except change. When we say we love someone it is not always a pure unconditional love. It is wanting to control the person, to be possessive of them and we have expectations of them. We do or give expecting them to give or do back. If we truly love someone we would do for them without any expectations in return, we would not try to possess them. That is what unconditional love is about. We have to remove our blinders. You see the person you want to see, not the person for who they really are, and then you try to change them to who you want them to be. Can you truly love someone for who they are the good, the bad, and the ugly? To see pics of retreat go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/rmadolphe92/VipassanaRetreat#

Principality of Ripping Someone Off

This is a principle that some businessmen must hold on to closely in India. It is a very strong principle. One must hold onto it by any means necessary. It is known that if a westerner visits India that the salesman(of clothing or art store), taxi driver, or auto rickshaw driver will charge you double. As a westerner you must understand it and either accept it or bargain hard. Now, I am originally from NY and my parents are Haitian so I bargain hard! What can I say? The Principle of Ripping someone off is sooo strong that the businessman can be so broke and hungry that they will still follow it. It doesn't matter, they must hold onto this by any means necessary. To take an auto rickshaw is generally 10 Rupees(RS) per KM, but the auto rickshaw driver will double or more than double this. One night I was walking with a friend and we had 1 km to go, a rickshaw stopped and asked us if we needed a lift, so we said where we were going and he asked for 40 RS. We said 10 RS and he said no and drove off. My girlfriend and I laughed because he was going in the direction that we were heading. This was a straight road and the only turn he could make was after our drop off would have been. So we said he rather not make any money than to get the 10 RS. How crazy...10 RS could have been his breakfast. This has happened on several occasions to me and other foriegners. The rickshaw driver will quote an enormous price and then won't bend and is willing to lose out on the money. I keep on looking because eventually someone will agree to the right price. If not, I walk and hope to lose some of the weight I have put on by eating so much rice here.

Mooji

I headed to Thiruvannamalai and once there, everyone said you have to see Mooji. Mooji is from Jamaica, but lives in London now and travels giving satsang. Satsang is a question and answer format that helps one become self realized. I arrived in Thiru (abbreviated) on January 21 and saw Mooji on the 22nd. I was like wow all these people traveled near and far to India to learn from a black man. How funny is this? People were bowing to his feet, crying, laughing and trying to get as close to him as possible. I don't know if he is Christian, Hindu, or what, but it doesn't matter. Your specific religion doesn't matter, because there is only one God and all religions pretty much teach the same thing but in different ways. Mooji is definitely enlightened and he genuinely cares and wants to help us become enlightened. After the first week of going to Mooji's satsang I decided to stay in Thiru until Feb 15, which is when Mooji leaves India. Mooji really gets you to think about who you are and tells you to sit in silence. Silence is the key to self knowledge which brings peace. One cannot find peace through the outside (external things) only from looking within. He asks questions to help you realize who you are. During his satsangs I had so many aha moments and felt really great. I got to the point where I can let go of attachments and know that I am not my body or mind. I am That. I was and Am before I was Renee or before I was a daughter, sister, psychotherapist, etc. I am Presence. In Thiru, the people walk 14 km around Arunachula Mountain every full moon. Mooji organized a walk for January 29th which was the full moon and his birthday. That day satsang was extra special. The energy was more intense and Mooji was in rare form. Usually after satsang Mooji will go downstairs and sit quietly but this day he first loving threw candy in the air and people were graciously catching the candy. He then walked through the crowd and gave out candy to everyone who was sitting. People were receiving the candy with tears in their eyes and hugging and thanking him. At this moment I decided to attend his birthday celebration. At first I wasn't, but the energy was so great I had too. So I bought the ticket for 200 rupees (RS). After he went downstairs they gave out cupcakes as well. It was awesome. So later that day, everyone gathered at 5:30 pm to walk with Mooji around Arunachula. It was awesome to see so many people gather to walk with Mooji. It was really heartfelt. Mooji would switch up and hold different people’s hands from young to old as he walked. This 14km walk took 4 hours due to the large crowd and not being able to walk fast. I was exhausted and my feet hurt but I was so ecstatic. The people of Thiru walk around Arunachula barefoot every full moon as a remembrance of and devotion to God. There were thousands of people that came out just to walk. I am truly blessed to be able to have witnessed and be present to such an experience. Then on Feb 1, Mooji had his birthday party. This is a man who says he does not socialize nor have conversations unless it is to teach or be taught, so I wondered how good the party would be. To my surprise this was the best party ever. There was no alcohol and obviously no drugs allowed at the gathering. The hotel was beautiful and had a gorgeous swimming pool. Tons of people showed up for the party. Everyone was able to let loose and be free in a good way to enjoy themselves. I danced so much and did not care how I looked or who was there. This was such a liberating experience. They played music with themes on love and freedom. They had performances, great food and Mooji spoke at the end. Words really can't describe my overall experience with Mooji. Well after I spent the last 2 weeks with Mooji, I decided to be brave enough to ask him a question. So on Feb 3 I went up for the first time and asked him about my mind. I told him that my mind is constantly chattering and thinking and I am trying to let that go and not analyze everything so much. I want to just be. I am aware of what is happening but haven't been able to let it go. Mooji got me to the point of stillness. I can't even describe what happened, but I am almost there. At the end of our discussion I gave him a hug and he told me that something special was going to happen to me soon. A few people thanked me for going up to ask him a question and said that I was inspiring. Mooji quotes: “Empty your mind so God can work through you.”; “Conquer thought by the certitude that there is no such thing as thought”; “To forget everything is to remember the self”. Link to Mooji pics: http://picasaweb.google.com/rmadolphe92/Mooji#

Facing the Unknown

SRI AUROBINDO'S ASHRAM
I arrived to New Delhi airport at 10 pm on New Year's Eve. The whole way to the airport I felt surreal. The reality of me going to a foreign country on my own was hitting closer to home. I remember walking through the airport in DC saying is this real? Am I really leaving the US for a whole year? People travel alone for months or years all the time, but this is not common in my circle. My family travels often, so traveling is not foreign to me, but traveling alone is. So my first leg was from DC to Orlando, Orlando to Charlotte, Charlotte to Chicago and finally Chicago to Delhi. I was walking to my gate at Chicago airport and saw this beautiful women who shaved her head bald. That was the beauty of it. It was totally bald. Gorgeous! Courageous! Part of me wish I can be so brave, but people tell me I am all the time. It is brave to travel the world alone. I guess it is. I haven't thought much about that, just knew I had to do it. So I stopped to tell her how gorgeous she was. She thanked me and we ended up having a 1/2 hour conversation. She discussed how freeing it was when she cut off her hair and described that release. I started thinking maybe that will be part of my letting go as well, to cut off all of my hair. To make room for the new and improved Renee. Don't get me wrong. I don't think there is anything wrong with me. Everyone can always stand to grow and improve. I have never liked stagnation. I guess I felt stuck. I've done the most that I could do as a therapist, but want more. I want to make a difference in the lives of others. I want to make a difference in my life. My relationships are the same after the other. I know if I stayed I will eventually enter a relationship and marry, but I truly wasn't ready for that. I feel I have more growing and more to see before I settle down. So maybe I will cut my hair. I haven't yet, but maybe I will. I've cut my hair short twice and it is currently short but never bald. We will see. They begin to start boarding the plane and I found my seat. The 14 hour flight was nice and smooth. I enter into New Delhi at 10 pm, deplane and begin to try and find my way to the baggage claim. The airport was crowded, people all over the place. I go through customs and claim my bag. I begin to tire quickly because I have a full backpack and the small backpack is heavy. I realized I packed entirely too much. Oh well, nothing I can do now. I make my way through the airport to change a $100 bill, then I headed towards the prepaid taxi booth. Taxi drivers were shouting taxi, taxi. I just headed to the booth because I was told to do that. The other drivers will charge you more or take you someplace else. My driver didn't know where my Ashram was and had to ask someone for directions, so that was scary. On our way there was an outdoor party with fire burning and music playing. I started to hear Sean Paul, Temperature and that put me at ease. I don't know why maybe just hearing something so common to my nature in a foreign place made me feel at home. I could now smile and breathe until we got to the Ashram. The taxi driver let me out and it was dark and I had to walk through this walkway alone, not knowing which direction I was headed and not knowing if I could even get in at 11:30 pm. So I finally find the reception desk, tired after walking with the heavy backpack, but it was closed. It had a sign saying to go to a certain room for after hours admission, so I go to the room but no one was there. I began to walk around then a lady came and helped me(whew). I got a single room, put my stuff down then went to the midnight meditation that they were having for NYE. I then go to my room to sleep and can now notice how cold it was. I am so thankful my cousin T made me bring my sleeping bag. The next day I checked out of my single room to get a dorm room. The dorm here at Sri Aurobindo's Ashram (SAA) was nice. It had room for about 18 women, but there was only one other. So we had plenty of space. Here at SAA I met Tenzin Gache, who is a buddhist monk. He was there with his mother. He was really nice, but was only staying for a day or two. He gave me his contact info as well as some of the buddhist events that were happening in India. Through him I met Uri. Uri is from Israel. I really connected with Uri. He took me around Delhi and gave me a lot of useful info about India. He was on the end of his trip so wanted to go shopping. I decided to go shopping with him and so experienced my first autorickshaw ride with him. It was alot of fun but cold because the rickshaw does not have windows and all the cold air was blowing on us. Uri was really dedicated to his spiritual growth. He would meditate daily for long periods, which made him a good motivator for me. Through Uri, I met Marcin. God really works wonders. I had decided to leave Delhi because it was just too cold and sleeping in a cold room without heat was getting to be a bit much. I decided to head south to Amma's Ashram (AA) which is where I intended to go in the first place. AA and Sai Baba's were the two places I planned on coming to in India. Since my plane went to Delhi, I decided to stay there for a week. So Marcin was on his way to Amma's as well. I say God works wonders because I was able to travel with Marcin to Amma's and boy did I need that. I got sick the day we were leaving and had diarrhea the whole train ride which was 49 hours and bones were aching. Marcin helped me carry my bags since I was sick and took care of me on the train ride. He made sure I had plenty of water and took meds. Marcin and Uri were both genuine and sincere in their care of me. It was really nice to meet people who genuinely care about others. You meet alot of people like this in India. The energy in India is that you feel like you connect with people so much more and so quicker and time stretches. My 5 days in India felt like a month and I felt like I knew Uri and Marcin for years. Other than me sleeping on the top bunk and having to wake up hourly to run to the bathroom, the two day train ride was good. I got to see alot of India. I met four African men on the train. They were sitting in the same section as Marcin and I. We all had great conversations. The other reason, amongst several I say that God works wonders is that I don't think I would have been able to navigate my way around Delhi train station without Marcin. Nothing seemed organized and it was so crowded. Thank God Marcin had been in India for some time and understood the system.